Mask
by Unsystxmatic
Summary: Touka Kirishima and Yoriko Kosaka were best friends; almost sister like... up until a tragic day become true. Yoriko was attacked by a ghoul, and she was defenceless... until Touka appeared in her disguise; until she appeared as Rabbit. Touka saved her life, sure, but the consequence of seeing Rabbit was a challenge. How would Yoriko feel about being rescued by a ghoul?
1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Yoriko, hurry up will you? It's freakin' freezing out here..."

The black haired ghoulette stared up toward the sky and whispered to herself as she waited for her human friend to come out of the store that she had gone into, an annoyed look plaguing her violet eyes as she impatiently tapped the floor below her with her school shoe clad foot.

It was around 9 PM- completely dark with the winter weather and hell, it looked like it was gonna snow. But even with the weather and the time, the cook in training insisted upon getting herself ingredients to make her and Touka food for the next day in school. The words, of course, made Touka inwardly cringe. After all, it wasn't like she could really enjoy it- or avoid eating it. She wanted her best friend to be happy- to think the efforts that she made each and every day weren't for nothing. And perhaps they weren't. In a way, the human made herself happy.

But that was a confusing theory for Touka in general, so she didn't think too hard about it at all.

She stared into the shop window, staring at the orange haired woman with a rather blank expression upon her features; not reflecting her thoughts in the slightest manner. It seemed that she would never reveal her inner emotion- even on her own.

Yoriko.

Her gaze was fixated, watching as her finger gently pushed at her bottom lip. A habit of the humans when she was focused upon a task. She did it during her exams too, Touka had noticed. But her pen replaced her finger.

It made a small smile cover her face, her chilly body suddenly warming up as though she had been embraced. Her little habits... Touka noticed them all. How her brow furrowed when she put finishing touches upon food she made... how she'd look down at the ground or the table when she was nervous... how shy she was, and how she would go silent and gaze toward herself for help whenever she was faced with an uncomfortable social situation.

Ah, this human was a strange one to Touka. So annoyingly clingy... loving... shy. The polar opposition to herself as a whole. Brash, strong, slightly lonesome, outgoing. Let it be named. Touka opposed the woman by any means stated... and yet they got along so well. It was as though instead of contradicting each others personality, they... more or less complimented each other. Say, if one person didn't have one aspect of their personality, the other would fill the blank.

They were like a puzzle.

Ghoul and human.

Shy and outgoing.

The chef and the waitress.

How wonderful friendship was.

Touka, who found herself caught in a daydream amidst the staring she was doing, shook her head as she saw her best friend approaching the door and pushing it open slowly.

"I got it! Chicken, eggs, flour, bread crumbs- yep! Got it all! Are you sure you don't wanna sleep over? My Mother already said yes before I even asked!"

Touka winced at the question, her face red. Why did Yoriko's mother always insist upon taking her into her home?... no... she was a ghoul. There was no way she would allow herself to put her best friend and her family in danger.

"Nah- you know me, I like my own bed... C'mon, It's getting way late now! Your slow butt took forever in the store! How many brands of breadcrumbs did you have to decide between this time?" She said softly, her hand reaching forward to gently flick her in-between the eyes before she began to walk away from the human slowly.

The human held her head, pouting as she followed after her.

"Hey- brands are important! Some have really bad tasting foods and I want my food to be perfect! It's important!"

Touka turned her head back, staring toward her angry looking face with a soft smile. God, why was she such a dummy? Getting so worked up over a joke... she was so gullible it was laughable.

"Calm down, Gordon Ramsey. I was only poking fun... C'mon, I'm sure ya Mom is getting worried about you now. It's 20 minutes past 9 already."

The chef in training suddenly allowed a smile to break onto her face as she caught up to the ghoul, staring in front of them as the crossroad that they would separate at came into view... which... for some reason, made her heart lurch. Her skin was crawling, her hairs were standing on edge... there was a burning feeling at the back of her head... like she was being watched.

Why? What the hell was this? This feeling- this sudden, intense fear at the sight of their destination?

As she reached the road, Yoriko turned on her heels to smile towards her best friend, a dumb look in her eyes that only made Touka more... nervous.

"Cya tomorrow, Touka! I bet my fried chicken will be better than today's! I'll perfect it! I swear!" She said, beginning run off toward home.

"... Yeah. Cya." She said, her eyes following her every move as she played with the straps of her backpack on her shoulders.

Something was wrong.

Something was extremely wrong.

Touka ran into an alleyway and pulled off her backpack, pulling out a mask and a wig as she began to push the two on herself, then tucking the backpack behind the trash.

Why was this getting to her so much?

Well... when Touka left, the sensation gave off by the gaze that was watching her... disappeared.

So... was it watching Yoriko?

She jumped onto the rooftop and jumped over buildings, keeping an aerial view over the city.

She wanted to protect her. She wasn't sure what she'd do if Yoriko got hurt. Yoriko was innocent. Too innocent... so Touka kept an eye on her.

Damn it, she hated this feeling- she felt sick. Like she had been punched in the gut. Why was she so worried?

... She could only... find out.

"Please be okay.."


	2. Chapter 2

Yoriko walked along the pathway, effortlessly avoiding passers-by... which had become pretty much a habit, considering how busy the streets of Tokyo were constantly, no matter the time of day. In fact, she had become so accustomed to the crowded situation that she was able to pull out her phone, tapping at her keyboard.

_》From; Yoriko._  
_》To; Mother._

_"Hey mom ^^; Sorry that I'm late... again. I was with Touka. No, she didn't want to stay. Again. Maybe next time? Haha! Xxx"_

After she had finished writing the words on the screen, she slipped her phone back into her pocket, staring up to the night sky in which her breath was escaping and fading.

The thought honestly always had Yoriko thinking... What was Touka hiding? Did she have some sort of sleeping disorder? She knew when Touka was trying to make her feel better- or at least she thought she did- and her comment that she always used... _you know me, I like my own bed..._ Always triggered alarms in her head. She was so worried about her.

But was that anything different?

She always seemed to worry about her! Even if she was right there before her, she wanted to wrap her in a hug and tell her she would protect her as much as she possibly could! She deserved it! She deserved to be protected! After all, she did it often enough for herself.

... She shook her head as she began to reach the living areas of the city, her brow furrowing as she stopped in her tracks... staring at...

... construction work?

"What...? Since when was this happening? Geez..."

She began to scout around the closed road, looking for an opening pathway to... no avail. Damn it. It was the only way she had to get home! Why couldn't they have put a notice through doorways and such like usual? Was it really THAT hard?

She shook her head, turning it to face an alleyway. That... was always a route. It went around the backstreets and right into her own... but it was so dark. Dangerous, even. But what could she honestly do? It was her own fault for taking so damn long to go home... right? Damn it damn it.

With her heart in her throat, she took out her phone and put on its flashlight, following the spotlight it had created into the previously dark abyss that was the alleyway. Her steps echoed through the area, her innocent eyes gazing at the buildings surrounding herself. Damn it... what had she gotten herself into? It was so dangerous in here... she didn't know what she could turn the corner to see... what was waiting for her in the soon to be illuminated abyss.

"... I-I should... have called Touka..." She whimpered out, looking around herself as she turned a corner, tears beginning to well in her hazel coloured eyes. She had to focus on something other than the darkness... so she kept her gaze glued upon the white light glaring at the floor below her, wincing at the crunching sounds that her school shoes created with and every small, agonizingly slow steps that she took.

Just... 2 more turns. Two more turns and she was free from this dark hell. Just... 2...

She followed the path around a corner, her eyes gazing around before...

_CRAS__H_

She released an eardrum piercing scream as a cat suddenly scurried from behind a trash can, running into the dark night as Yoriko held her chest in shock. God- a cat? She honestly just got scared by a cat of all things in the world... how... like her.

She shook her head and turned another corner, smiling as she saw the exit to her hell.

She shut off the torchlight, smiling to herself as she released a shaky sigh. "Nothing to worry about... I got myself worked up over nothing-"

Right as she said those words...  
As soon as she muttered even a hint of hope...  
Something... slid around her waist. Red... glowing... about the length of an arm.

Her body froze... unable to move... unable to _breathe. _She just... remained there... bathing in goosebumps... cold sweats... tears.

No.  
What... what was this?

"This won't hurt, sweetie..."

Those words. They were sickly... sickly sweet. Something that she could only imagine hearing in a horror movie that she would sit and occasionally watch with Touka, only to turn it off a mere 20 minutes later because of this exact fear... this tone of voice... this... horrific possibility.

Suddenly, her thoughts left her, to become a dark mess of screams. She was roughly gripped, tugged, shoved, stabbed, let it be named. All she could do was release sounds of agony as her blood dripped onto the ground below herself- Oh God- below- oh so below- she was hanging. The red... THING had somehow slipped around her neck.

Tightening.  
Tightening.  
_Tightening._

She could see stars- purple spots of an unidentifiable kind were polluting her sight- ruining her vision- making the look of her attacker completely unknown to her...

... was... was she going to die?

She could feel it- she was slipping. Blood. Tears. Fuck. Fuck. She was so close to _endin_g.

But... suddenly...

Breath. Sight- breath. Breath. Breathing. She was breathing- pain... overwhelming pain all over her body...

And... she was on the ground.

She gazed up, her blackening vision catching a glimpse of what was happening... her ears finally working enough to hear voices.

"YOU BASTARD!"

Fire. Flames- something indescribable. A burning beauty. A warm, red glow infecting the area around them... wrapping around Yoriko like a warm embrace.

The woman in which the voice had escaped from wore a black trench coat...boots... and a rabbit mask. As well as having pastel pink hair. What in the world was happening?

"HOW DARE YOU!"

She watched as the rabbit masked stranger suddenly leapt into the air... spinning through it as fast as a bullet and _slicing into him like a knife through butter._

Her first thoughts were... traumatic. She just... watched someone get sliced up. Oh, God. Oh God oh GOD. what was happening?!

... but...

It... it was over? No more hurting- asides the injuries she had already achieved?

She stared up toward the woman in the mask, seeing her turn her head and walk toward her slowly, causing her to wince and close her eyes in fear.

... but... no pain. She felt her arm slip under her knees; her other hand holding her up by her back as she sluggishly opened her eyes, gazing into the eyeholes that were cut into the top section of her white rabbit mask, which had been splattered in the blood of the that lay on the pavement below herself.

Deep crimson eyes. Glowing crimson eyes...

"..._Beautiful_..."

And that was the last word she breathed out... before passing out in her arms.

... then she was in the hospital.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Heya! As a disclaimer, the reason this fight wasn't described very well and isn't being planned to is that this chapter is purely set from Yorikos eyes. If this was Toukas chapter, you would have seen it. But please respect that you didn't see a full fight. More information will be provided in future chapters, further explaining the fight... but that is all.

Thank you~!

_~ Kayleigh._


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck... shit... damn it, damn it _please hang on_..."

She desperately whispered the words to the woman before her, clasping her hand as she grit her teeth. After all the commotion... she brought her to the hospital, hiding her rabbit mask and fighting clothes within a bag. She was scared... so so scared. Damn it, why wasn't she faster? Why did she take so long to attack that bastard who attacked her?

She frowned and turned her head, her eyes lingering over to where Yorikos mother and father were currently discussing her condition with her doctor. 5 stab wounds, serious concussion... so on. So many injuries because she left her alone when she was more than certain something bad was going to happen. Why did she do that?

She... was such a _dumbass_. She hated herself for this. Of all the things she had done this had to be the worst. She was staring at Yoriko, knocked out, post operated on... It was a miricle that the kagune missed her heart... but the mess it made of her...

...

Damn. It.

Touka leant on the womans arm, being careful not to irritate any of her injuries as she did. She couldn't stop staring up at her face... her... pale face... covered in bruisy cuts. Her best friends beautiful, adorable features had been wrecked. Destroyed... of course... she'd heal. But she wasn't like ghouls. It would take ages to heal. And when she was up and about... would... would they _scar?_

Why oh why did she leave her alone. She could have walked her home- it was late, so why didn't the idea come to mind?! She should have been there to protect her.

"... I-I'm... I'm so sorry... I'm so fucking sorry, Yoriko... I-I won't leave your side, I swear, I'll stay here until you're healed up... no matter what, god fucking damn it I'm staying... even if I have to tie myself to the bed..."

She felt comfortable saying the words. The woman wasn't awake, after all. She didn't have to worry about hearing teasing comments, or comments like "Don't worry about me! Go to school!"

... School. Crap, how much would she miss? Damn it...

She pulled out her phone, staring at the time with tired eyes, wincing at the brightness in the semi-darkened room. Ugh. 5AM... Yoshimura would be awake with Koma by this time. This was Anteikus opening shift- which made her thank the heavens above that she was only a part timer.

She began to tap the keypad, directing herself to Komas contacts and beginning to type out a message.

\- - -  
》To; Koma  
》 From; Touka

Yo. Got a problem on my end. Can't come into work later- or go in to school. Yoriko got hurt. I'm in the hospital with her now. I promise I'll give details when I'm back in, but for now please bear with me. I'm not leaving her side for as long as possible. I wanna be her when she wakes up.

_To; Touka《_  
_From; Koma《_

_Oh. Wait, you really can't explain over text? Touka, you're worrying me. Get back to work ASAP- don't worry about school. Yoshimura will call in... keep safe, okay? You're a good friend to her._

"... Bullshit." She said in a rather nonchalant manner, dropping her phone onto the table besides herself and returning her focus upon the injured human before her.

A good friend? What sort of 'good friend' sees potential danger for their friend and doesn't go to any length at all to prevent it? She was stupid- anything but a good friend. She knew there was danger and yet... damn it.

She moved her hand into hers, her thumb caressing at her skin. Why was she doing that? Why did she feel the need to comfort someone who wasn't concious to appreciate it?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening, an orange haired woman walking in and causing Touka to glance up toward her worried gaze.

Yorikos mother.

"U-Uh... Honey... you can go home, you know... I understand you're worried... but we'll look after her now. We won't leave her here alone."

The woman sat on the chair on the other side of the bed, Toukas eyes following her as she muttered a quiet response.

"... Good. I'm glad you have the same plan. I'm not leaving. You'll have to register me as a family member."

Mrs Kosaka simply smiled at the statement, reaching forward and placing her hand above Toukas own which was holding Yorikos... much to her shock.

"Her Father registered you to unlimited visits like we have... We had the feeling you'd be here a lot. So... You won't be kicked out. Don't worry. But don't make yourself suffer." She stated simply, making Touka scoff.

"I'm not suffering. Yoriko is, okay? I'm not leaving. You won't convince me... With all due respect. I'm sorry, but I brought her in and I plan to leave with her."

Mrs Kosaka stared toward her, then down towards her daughter with a sad smile spreading across her face.

"...I'm sorry. And... thank you. If it wasn't for you bringing her in... She could have died there and then. You saved her life... now you're sitting there like a little body guard. I'm so glad she found a friend like you."

Toukas eyes moved up toward her, her breath catching in her throat at the sudden comment.

"I...I-"

As soon as she was about to respond, the door to the room suddenly opening to reveal a man poking his head through the door, speaking in a gentle tone.

"The doctor needs us both again... X-Ray results."

Mrs Kosaka stood up quickly, turning her head to face Yoriko one more time... her smile fading. Touka remembered that look- the look Yoriko had when they had an argument. When Mayuhara was a problem. She could see so much of Yoriko in her mother.

When she finally reluctantly tore her gaze from her daughter, she walked out of the room as the closed quietly behind herself... leaving Touka to her thoughts.

She could have prevented that.  
That heart break- that worry-  
Damn it.  
Damn it damn it...

Why? Why was this happening now? She was too innocent- too... how could she even describe?

"... I-I can't believe this is fucking happening..."

She let her head hang, her eyes stinging as tears slolwy began to poke at it's corners. She couldn't believe she was breaking down. She was letting her emotions get the best of her.

"Y...Yoriko... damn it, why did you go down that alleyway..."

She grit her teeth and held Yorikos hand close to herself, allowing the wave of emotions to finally take hold of her and her tears to slowly roll down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking. She knew she would survive- but the fact it was happening alone was enough to send her into agonizing hurt. It was too much. Yoriko being in pain had to be one of the sharpest blades to stab her heart...

... beautiful.

The word suddenly intruded her mind. The final word she had stated to her before falling limp in her arms. After looking into her eyes...

... Why?

"... I'm not beautiful, Yoriko. No... I'm really not... You're the beautiful one. Even with these shit cuts and bruises. You're amazing. Damn it, get better soon..."

She knew the words were strange for a friend to say... but it was what she believed.

She sighed and leant her head on the mattress below Yoriko, closing her eyes as tears ran down onto it...

.. before a hand sluggishly wiped them away, causing her to shoot up onto her feet and stare at the girl.

"Yoriko- Oh my God Yoriko- you dummy you scared me half to death oh my fucking God!"

She stared down at the girl, tears falling into the bed. No words were being said by Yoriko... not for that moment... she was... adapting. Getting back to reality. Coming back to herself.

"T-Touka... why... don't cry... please don't... cry..."

She shakily raised her hand, wincing as a pain shot through it. As Touka saw her wince, she took her hand and laid it flat onto the mattress.

"Hey, ya dummy... I'm fine.. I'm... I'm okay... just... _relived _that you're awake... that's all... God, you scared me damn it you idiot..."

She sighed and collapsed in her chair, wiping tears from her eyes as Yoriko turned her head to face her. Although she was beaten... bruised... in agony... she still smiled toward her.

"Two people saved me, huh? That... woman... and you. How did you find me, Touka? Or... am I wrong? Did you find me?"

Touka winced at the question... looking up toward her in.. a rather forced questioning manner.

"... Woman? I-I mean... I found you. You dropped your bag of breadcrumbs so I ran to come and give them to you... and... I found you like that in an alleyway and carried you here... There wasn't time for an ambulance, really- but... wait... what woman? There was a woman? Who?"

Touka couldn't tell her.  
She couldn't say it-  
Yoriko would hate her...  
Almost killed by a ghoul...  
Rescued by one too...  
What would her opinion be?  
How much would she hate the ghouls now?  
... She couldn't ask. Too suspicious.

Yoriko sighed and closed her eyes, her... hazey thoughts moving back to what she saw.

_Flames... an intense ruby red glow... Beautiful crimson eyes glowing behind a white rabbit mask._

How... mysterious. Alluring. Beautiful. So... strange. Something that should be terrifying to Yoriko only made her more intrigued... drawn to her. Such a... strange familiarity was in the aura of that ruby red glow of her wings... so... loving. What was it about her?

"... The woman.. she wore a mask... a rabbit one. Flames on her back... like angels wings... All I can remember about her was her anger towards that man... and her eyes when I got a closer look. They... They were so familiar..."

Touka sat and stared awkwardly as she listened to her words, her feet tapping at her floor as she patted her shoulder.

"... Get some rest, dummy. You can tell me more at a later date, okay? It's... 5AM. And we have like... a week in this shit hole."

The comment made Yorikos tired eyes gaze toward her, a giggle escaping her as she heard the comment. "Huh?... I'm... the one who's hurt... not _you_. Get your butt to school and... stop using me as an excuse to get out of it~" She said, the comment being an obvious joke in which Touka picked up on straight away.

"Ah... Yeah, right. Like I'd need an excuse to skip school... if that's what I wanted you _know _I'd do it if they care or not... I'm sure that's comforting for you to hear. My school life is my own choice~!"

Yoriko actually _laughed_ a little. It made Toukas heart flutter... that laugh. That laugh signalling she would be okay. That laugh signalling that things between them were miles away from ever changing. So many miles away.

She may have not... saved her from it happening. But she rescued her from the death itself... and that was enough for Touka. More than enough. She was still there... breathing... alive. And nothing would change that if Touka had anything to do with it. Hand on heart... She wouldn't let anything like this situation happen again.

"... Thank you for being here, Touka." She stated quietly... following Toukas orders and attempting to sleep...

... before she opened her eyes, glaring at her.

"Hey! I'm tiny! Like hell I'm letting you sleep there! Get on here..."

The suggestion made Toukas face burn a crimson colour, but... she was so exhausted. She didn't even... want to fight the offer.

She crawled onto the hosptial bed and crawled under the blankets, resting her hands on her own stomach and stared up at the ceiling... closing her eyes.

"...Hey, Touka?"

"Yeah?..."

"...This isn't what I meant by _lets have a sleepover... _But it'll do."

The comment made her laugh, sighing in defeat... Yoriko was ever positive...

... but this was only the beginning.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been about a week since Yoriko had finally gotten out of the hospital, more than uncomfortably having to use two pairs of crutches to get around anywhere. Honestly, seeing the sight hurt Touka. A lot. Because she couldn't even cook for herself as she would usually do for the two of them. Yorikos hobby; her passion, even. Everything she had worked for...

... Well, it wouldn't be too long before she forced herself to cook at some point. But it didn't change a thing! She was still unable to do what she loved the most in the world! It was killing her to witness Yoriko look so sad... not being able to do what she loved must have been awful.

So... that's why she was stood at her door with a bag of ingredients, unlocking it with the key that Yorikos mother had given her. When Mr and Mrs Kosaka were in work, Touka offered to take care of the practically bed bound girl. Of course, the offer was graciously accepted... with an unwanted hug from her best friends mother. She was beginning to realise just where Yoriko had gained her loving side from.

Nevertheless, she was glad that she offered. Yoriko deserved it. She always looked after Touka, even without Touka asking at all. She appreciated her so much... and Yoriko appreciated Touka and she knew it.

When she opened the door, she walked in and let a grin grow on her features as she called out to the future chef. "Yo, Yoriko! I'm here!"

Her voice broke the heavy silence that plagued the usually lively household that Touka had grown used to, triggering the sound of 'click, click, click' coming toward her quickly in almost a dramatic manner, causing laughter to escape her as she saw the future chef with that famous bright smile.

"With the sound of your damn crutches, it sounded like a crab was attacking me... are you okay- woah-"

Before she even finished her sentence, the girl let go of her crutches, landing less than gracefully in Toukas arms. Geez. "Yoriko, you're supposed to be taking it easy! You were never this active before you were hurt, why do you choose now to be an athlete?"

Yoriko grinned a little and began to stare up at ghoul who's arms she was collapsed in. "You were taking too long! I was starting to get worried that something had happened, ya know?! Sorry, I got a bit excited!"

Touka blushed as she turned her gaze, attempting to look anywhere but at the girl in her arms. Things between them had been rather... strange. At least, on Yorikos side for Touka. She was loving... unnaturally clingy- which Touka wasn't angry about. No, not at all. In fact, it was slightly adorable and Touka wasn't afraid to admit that about her best friend. But it was worrying Touka. Why? Was she... scared that she would get attacked too?

Touka sighed and wrapped the slightly taller girl's arm around her shoulder, her other free hand holding beneath her arm on the other side.

"C'mon... You dummy... I have plans for us today and I won't have it ruined by your sudden dream to represent Japan in the Olympics." She stated blandly, kicking up Yorikos crutches skillfully, causing them to hit her palm and Touka to grab them...

... much to Yorikos shock and amusement. "And you say I'm the athlete... alright, smooth criminal, what's the plan?"

Touka rolled her eyes, beginning to walk her through to the kitchen as she clung to her protectively. She didn't want to drop her- her adrenaline was even acting up. She didn't want her best friend suffering any more than she already was... in pain, barely able to do anything, unable to attend school... no, she wasn't going to let her hurt anymore. And that was a promise. "Well... I know that you haven't been able to cook and all that jazz..."

Toukas words caused her to look down at the floor as Touka gently sat her down in a chair, sighing to herself in a depressed manner. "Trust me... I tried. But these crutches are so annoying... and when I had that wheelchair, I was too short. I haven't cooked in... forever... u-uh... Touka, what're you doing with that?"

Touka then turned to her with a bright blush covering her usually pale features, beginning to tie the back of an apron around her body. She was embarrassed... doing this so suddenly, without an explanation. But Yoriko deserved to be made happy- especially since everything that had happened. Since that time? Extra protective, extra loving, extra... Everything, in a way. The amount that Touka was planning in private was earning a lot of worried comments- well, by worried... she meant Nishiki teasing her and saying that she had totally fallen for the human. A realisation by almost losing her- or- something. She didn't know, she wasn't particularly listening to him.

"What do ya think? I'm cooking for you, in your place. You're gonna tell me what to do... and I'm gonna well... do as I'm told. Making short...bread? Yeah, that biscuit thing you like."

... She could basically feel the happiness suddenly radiating from the human, which only caused her red face to burn more. God, this was embarrassing in every way. But, as long as it made the human happy when she was hurt in such a brutal manner, then hey, she would gladly allow her face to burn in the red blush that she resented so damn much. Yoriko mattered more than anything, and that's all she cared about. Her human.

"Touka, thank you thank you _thank you!_" Exclaimed the innocent girl, her hands reaching to the table to push herself to her feet (or rather, attempt) before Touka placed her hands on her chest, pushing her back down gently into the seat as she quirked a brow toward her.

"Woah... you know you would have fallen over. Come on, Yoriko. You have to let those legs of yours heal already... you're beginning to make me worry what goes on when I'm not visiting. Are you doing exercise or something? Cause you seem to think it's okay to jump." Touka said, sarcasm hidden in her voice. This only caused Yoriko to giggle, of course, which caused Touka to sigh and blush in embarrassment as she stood up straight once more.

"You're impossible, Yoriko. C'mon, just behave, okay?... I don't want you any more hurt..." She said, moving to put her hair up into a ponytail before she walked to wash her hands.

"Your hair is... really, really pretty like that, Touka."

The words genuinely took a few seconds for Touka to register in her mind. Her eyes widened as she realised the exact words spoke to her, her features lighting up as bright as a red torch. No, no that was so embarrassing! Why would Yoriko just come out with that suddenly?! She _knew _that she hated compliments like that...

... ah... from... _guys, _not girls. She probably thought that Touka would react in an uncaring manner and just tell her to shut up... which... is what she should be doing, honestly, but for whatever reason, she was blushing like a damn idiot and stumbling over her sentences. What the hell was this feeling? She hated it so much. Damn it!

"Yoriko... where the heck did that come from? Geez... just... tell me how to make the damn shortbread..." She said, her voice becoming ever so slightly high pitched from the embarrassing words, which only caused Yoriko to let out that sweet, adorable laughter that made Toukas heart throb badly. What the fuck was happening to her?

"Alright, alright, sorry for being nice! Geez... alright, so you have flour, sugar and butter, right? It's really easy to make, honestly. I'm glad you chose this one to make..." Yoriko stated, quickly picking up her crutches and standing up, moving over to a bar stool so she could see Toukas actions without much difficulty.

"Yeah... right here." She said as she removed the ingredients from the bag that she had brought with her. She was so embarrassed getting them... it was yet another stupid thing that she had to question the half bastard Kaneki over. He was a great help, admittedly, but he spent more time explaining unneeded things like 'which butter brand is the better butter brand' and what not. She hated asking him for help sometimes for that exact reason.

"Ah- oh! You got those brands?! Great, those are specifically for baking, so it'll go really well!"

**'...fuck you, Kaneki.'** She thought, embarrassment radiating over her as she realised that she almost blew off the halflings advice of what to buy. She really had to listen to him more often, clearly, because Yoriko looked like the damn happy emoji on her phone when she saw the ingredients.

"Right- so! For this, you actually use what's called the 3 parts method! 3 parts flour, 2 parts butter, 1 parts sugar - or eh- 300 grams of flour, 200 grams of butter and 100 grams of sugar." Yoriko stated, her hand pointing toward a weighing scale that was plugged in at the wall.

"Ah... right, fine... kinda like we measure out stuff in science... yeah..." Touka murmured out, beginning to weigh out the ingredients that Yoriko had said to. Honestly, she had to admit that this was kind of fun... but only because Yoriko was here.

"Of course! Cooking is basically science, anyways! You mix things together to create an end product- it's kinda like chemistry. In fact, is it chemistry? I'll ask sensei when I'm allowed to come back to school." She said, a smile gracing her pretty features as she watched Touka weigh out the final ingredient, sugar, into a bowl that she set aside once she had finished.

"Right... done that... eh... what now?" Touka asked, her head turning to face the injured human. Yoriko smiled, responding in a cheerful manner. "You're... actually supposed to mix the ingredients together and leave it for a good hour before you shape and bake it. But that's fine! We can talk whilst it's doing that!"

Touka smiled awkwardly as she heard that... Jesus, cooking was so complicated sometimes. She didn't even know about that.

Well... there was nothing that could really be done about it. She just had to do as she was told and wait for the amount of time given, right?

At least she got to talk to Yoriko.

▪•▪•▪•▪•▪•

Touka sighed in relief as she finally finished mixing the ingredients that she had poured out, placing the dough into the fridge as she wiped her brow and began to wash her hands. Honestly, cooking was more tiring than she originally thought... and Yoriko did that shit every day? She was beginning to become mesmerized by a skill she couldn't even experience!

"Alright... done... Yoriko, I drop my weapons and admit defeat, cooking is the most complicated bullshit ever. You win. I give you the medal." She said, casting her apron onto a chair as Yoriko giggled at her words and she sat down rather ungracefully.

"I thought that at first, too! But the more you do it, the better you get, and the better you get, the more fun it becomes because your possibilities start to become endless! Plus, eating the end product is always a nice bonus... heh..."

Touka stared toward the human with a happy gaze, which... quickly grew into that of concern. The humans face changed its emotions quickly, into a troubled look. Like she was debating with her very self about something in secret. She hadn't seen that look on her face since Mayuhara was a problem, and she was debating whether or not to go to the zoo with Touka. It was worrying. So, so worrying. Especially with recent events causing her mind to be anything but at ease. What was she going to say? Was she going to have to pull out of school for the year? Was she crippled at the legs? Anything? Should she be more frightened than she was?

Why was she so god damn scared for her safety when she was just... sat in the kitchen with her? She had to cool it. She was probably just overthinking, right?

_...right?_

She chewed her lip before she finally began to speak, her words coming out a lot weaker than she had intended them to, which only made her more annoyed at herself.

"... Something up, Yori?"

The words caused Yorikos head to snap up, turning her embarrassed looking features toward the pretty ghoul with a small blush before she released a sigh, turning away as she scratched the red skin with a singular digit.

"... It's... nothing, really... I just have some stuff on my mind... nothing serious, I won't bore you with the details-"

"- who are you to say what will bore me?" Touka interrupted, her voice caring, but carrying a firmness in the tone. "I'm worried now. You should probably just spill it, or you won't hear the end of it until we're at least 65."

The comment caused a weak giggle to escape the human, which was quickly replaced with a sigh.

"... I'm... thinking about some stuff about... _me._ The attack... It's got me thinking about some... weird stuff that I hadn't considered before. And... I don't think you'll expect it either, or... accept it. I'm... I'm scared... I'll lose you if I say, which is why I'm not gonna." She stared, her eyes beginning to stare at her lap as Toukas own ones widened.

Why... did Yoriko have the dumb idea that she would ever lose Touka? She stayed in the damn hospital for a week, and _sh_e wasn't even a patient or a family member... _Or even a damn human being._

Was... this really that bad?

Touka shook her head, frowning as her hand gently rested upon Yorikos own. "Yoriko, you know damn fucking well that no matter what you did, I would never just up and leave. For all I care, you could say that you survive on a diet of toenails and I'd probably just say that's disgusting and move on. Why the hell would I abandon you now, of all the possible times? I'm not freakin' leaving ya ever. So just tell me, cause my dumb, anti-social ass will never guess it. Okay?"

Yorikos eyes turned back toward Touka, a blush settled on her face. "... I know... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that... it's probably just... cause I can't believe it myself. I... I can explain..." She began, her head moving to face the window.

"... Since the accident, after we left the hospital, thoughts about... someone, in particular, has just been stuck in my head. They're just... amazing... they're beautiful... they're protective... but I didn't even learn their name... I... I think I like them." She said, causing Toukas eyes to widen.

Yoriko... liked someone?  
That was new. Unlike her.

And... strangely fucking painful to hear. Why? What was eating away at Toukas heart? ... She had to ignore it. For Yorikos sake, and hers alone.

"... Can I... know who he is?" She responded in a small voice, causing Yoriko to turn to her with a practically broken look.

"See... That's the thing Touka... the person... They're... um... they're... a _girl..._"

Oh.  
Oh. A girl.  
A person of the female gender. She understood.

... wait, what?!

"Yoriko- you're... you're a lesbian? You... think you are?" She said, an awkward smile on her lips as she scratched her cheek. Touka had nothing against this. In fact...

"... Congratulations on working it out on your own, Yoriko. I heard a lot of people go through trouble with coming to terms with this sorta thing... I'm proud of you."

Yoriko smiled weakly at that, broken laughter escaping her as she covered her face. "Yeah... right. That's the thing... I don't care about being a lesbian... or bisexual or whatever the hell I am... It's who I like that's the problem... it's who's stuck in my head... And I can't avoid telling you who it is now..." She said, gathering her courage and turning to her with an intense, yet terrified stare.

"... It's... the one who killed that ghoul, Touka! The ghoul who rescued me! The... one with the rabbit mask! I'm terrified, cause I can't get her out of my head!"

...

Touka sat frozen with a shocked gaze, her hand slipping away from Yorikos as her heart throbbed.

No way. No no, no no no no no.

She was joking.

"You're... kidding, right? That weirdo ghoul?" She said, not even thinking about how harsh the words would sound to the human girl...

... It caused a stern glare, one she hardly witnessed cover Yorikos pretty features. "Yes, _I know okay?!_ It's wrong, you don't support it, you think she'd eat me first chance she gets and it's just not a physically possible thing, but I can't help it, Touka! I haven't been able to get her out of my head... and... those eyes... those beautiful black and red eyes..."

She winced as tears began to fill her eyes, making Toukas eyes widen as she wiped them away for her.

"Okay... it's fine... I don't hate it... I understand, Yoriko..." She stated reluctantly, her arms tugging her into a gentle hug as her eyes stared towards the ceiling.

Yoriko... really liked her. She liked her. But... not her, at the same time. She liked her murderous side. She liked the side she hated most about herself... she loved the murderer. The one she vowed she'd never allow herself to expose to Yoriko.

Yoriko... liked a ghoul.  
Yoriko... liked Rabbit?

Touka felt like crying at the realization. She wanted to protect Yoriko from the broken world of ghouls... not drag her in heart first. But she was. She was emotionally involved with a ghoul, that Yoriko didn't even know the face and name of... and yet she did. Whom of which was sat before her, with her arms wrapped protectively around her.

What was she supposed to say to this?...

Yoriko broke the silence with a sob, her face burying against Toukas shoulder. The sound was breaking Toukas heart to pieces. She... Did she cause this? This worry? This self-hatred?

Why did saving Yoriko have to come with such a cost?

"I-I'm sorry Touka... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I'm disgusting... b-but she was so... different... she protected me, she looked like... she loved me... knew me... wh-what if it's someone I know? What if it's someone close to me that's hiding their identity?!"

Love.  
Love...

... Love?

Touka... looked like she..._ loved_ her? This was... news to her, and yet... it didn't surprise her, either. Why didn't it surprise her!?

... Drop the topic. She had to. She couldn't handle this intense awkwardness anymore. She had to end it... and fast.

Toukas hands moved to grasp her shoulders, pulling away to look the human directly in the eye.

"... Yoriko, look. I think the whole _all ghouls are evil! _Charade is a fuck load of bullshit anyway. No species is completely evil. There's always that special few that are amazing people... so, I don't think you as disgusting. I do however think it's... not a possibility. You don't know her, Yoriko. And she is a ghoul, above all else... even if she doesn't hurt you, your connections with a ghoul may do... and I don't want you to suffer... so... please, give yourself time to think this through okay?"

Yoriko smiled awkwardly, wiping her tears away as she sighed.

"... You always know the right thing to say, Touka..."

Touka smiled, then standing up as she approached the fridge. "Alright... Thanks for that, but it's been an hour. I think it's time to finish this shortbread." She said, taking the dough out, much to yorikos happiness.

Touka... however... was constantly thinking...

What the hell was she... supposed to do now?  
Her best friend was in love with a killer.

Her best friend... was in love with _**her.**_

This was going to cause a lot of problems.

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

Disclaimer;  
I in no way believe that Yoriko may be bisexual in the manga. I will not believe so unless stated by the author. But this is a what if she was. Thanks.

Also, enjoy this extra long chapter. I'm sorry it took me so long to get it to you all. Enjoy!

_**~ Kayleigh.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Touka began to lay down in her bed, staring up toward the ceiling as she began to try and process the situation that she was currently facing, how she got there and just why it had to have happened to her of all the people in the world. She wanted to be in denial, completely state that this was not a thing that was happening. But she couldn't do that. She knew perfectly well that the look in Yorikos eyes and the expression on her face was 100% real. She couldn't mistake the emotion. She knew exactly what it was. Yoriko begging Touka to save her from herself; her own emotions. She knew because she did the exact same thing sometimes. When things got too much for her, Yoriko noticed the look in her eyes. She never pried, only made sure she felt as happy as she could make her. So when she saw the same look in her eyes...

She sighed, covering her eyes with her arm as she did.

"I can't believe this is happening... I can't believe this... I should never have got involved with Yoriko, I'm such a fucking idiot! She doesn't deserve this torment, she has so much to love... So much... Why me!" She said to herself, then sitting up and turning her gaze to her left, where a digital clock sat upon her bedside cabinet. 10:30 PM? That was it? It felt like she had been wallowing in self-pity for a few hours. She only got back at 9:00 PM... this was torment. Clearly.

"... Yoriko, why Rabbit... Of all people... Rabbit... why me... Why...-" "Big sister, are you okay?"

Toukas gaze snapped up toward her opened the door as she saw Hinami standing there, a frown covering her face. Was she too loud? Hinami was usually asleep by this time- geez, did she really feel so bad that she woke her? She needed to get her head together, for everyone else's sake as well as her own. She hated showing such weakness... but what exactly could she do? She couldn't hold back her invading thoughts, her actions, she couldn't even hide the confusion that was more than evident upon her pretty features. She hated this. She really did hate it- above anything, she hated emotions, and how easy they were to let go off and be unable to control. She wanted to be happy for Yoriko... after all, she had literally just worked out that she liked girls, which was amazing in Toukas opinion. Especially since she was so open to her about it! But... why of all the people did it have to be the one ghoul she was familiar with? She would have even preferred that bitch Mayuhara.

... Well, maybe that was a bit of a stretch but nonetheless. It wasn't wrong, that's genuinely how she felt about the situation.

"Uh... Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, Hinami- wait, why are you awake? I didn't think you'd be awake at this time..." She said, frowning at the younger ghoul as she saw her innocent features twist and change, revealing an expression that Touka could only describe as her saying 'do you think I'm stupid?'

... So this wasn't going to be a fun conversation, clearly enough. Couldn't things just be simple? Couldn't she just lay down and sleep for an eternity, not having to worry about anyone or anything that was going on within the messed up little life that she had? Apparently not, based on the events. But obviously, she had to explain something to Hinami now. Why Hinami? She was too young- she would have much preferred it to be Irimi or hell, even Kaneki would have done. She didn't mind talking to Hinami, of course... but she had enough to deal with as is, after Ryoko and her father being killed by investigators. She didn't need to hear more about humans, right?

... Alas, she wasn't going to budge. She knew that much.

Damn it.

"Alright, alright... you got me, okay? I'm not alright, I'm just... having some grown-up issues right now, okay? I can't really tell you, but I swear it will be fine..." She said, a sigh escaping her parted lips as she patted the bed, signalling the younger girl to come and take a seat as they talked. She knew that it wouldn't be the final topic of the night... well, hopefully anyway.

Toukas eyes followed the young girl's movements as she walked over, sitting down and staring up at her with big, innocent eyes. "Big sister, I'm only a few years younger than you..." She said, raising her arms toward her, signalling that she wanted a hug. Which in itself wasn't a rarity, but nonetheless flattering to Touka. She had to be the only one besides from Yoriko who ever hugged her. So, without much hesitation at all, she pulled the small girl into a hug.

"You're only 14, Hina... I don't want to dump all my problems on you... plus, you have more than your fair share to deal with. Equal to me, if not a lot more. C'mon, focus on yourself a little..." She said, not noticing the hypocrisy oozing from her words. Like Touka herself did anything but that, and there she was telling Hinami to do so. She really needed to focus on herself for once.

... And Hinami was certainly going to attempt to bring that idea into reality. Of course. That was the sort of person she was. And Touka could already tell she was going to, from the frown upon her face as she began to stare up at her.

"Does my age really have to stop me trying to help, Touka? You always help me, no matter what! C'mon, I'm begging you! I hate seeing you suffer, and you never tell anyone about it! Even if I can't help... I... I'm a great listener! I won't take anything to heart, only try to help you! That's all I care about! Please?"

The outburst caused Touka to stare, groaning in frustration as she moved the annoyed glare away from the younger girl. She really wasn't going to give up asking, was she? She really just wanted her to go to bed at this point... as much as she loved Hinami, she just wanted to sleep away the confusion. But it wasn't going to happen... It really wasn't. Darn it, why was everything so annoying and awkward today?

"It's just... Yoriko. She told me something today... something that sorta involved me, but she wasn't aware it did. But it sorta made me happy... not sure why... But at the same time, it completely broke my heart and I have no idea what the hell to do about it. None." She said, letting Hinami move to sit across from her, cross-legged as she stared at her, blinking in confusion as she heard the older woman's words that were so awkwardly expressed.

"Brokenhearted AND happy... isn't that like that word big brother taught me... contrasting? Completely the opposite to one another...?" She asked, causing Touka to stare back at her with tired eyes, clearly agitated at the subject at that time. "Uh... I feel like that would be more love and hate, but you're not wrong technically..." She said before Hinami cut her off.

"You don't have to answer... but... what did Yoriko tell you? Surely it wasn't that bad, right?... Maybe I can help you work out what your actual reaction is! Hopefully, anyway... It's all I can really try to do!" She said, a determined look in her eyes. It annoyed Touka... Hinami sort of reminded her of Yoriko. They even had similar hairstyles, which was strange.

... She couldn't help but sigh, a small smile covering her face as she ruffled the girl's hair. "C'mon... so nosey. Alright, alright, I'll tell you. You know I can't resist that look." She said, causing the young girl to grin happily, holding Toukas hands.

"Awesome! It'll be like those movies where sisters talk out situations! Yeah!" She said, making Touka roll her eyes with the same dumb smile on her face... before it faded. She had to talk about it now... and she didn't even know how or where to begin. Perhaps just from the beginning... Or... something?

How should she know?...

"So uh... Since the attack from that ghoul, Yoriko was... thinking to herself. Worrying about something, and... When I went around to look after her that one day, she started to go quiet. She's a quiet person in general, but never around me. So I was terrified... and she... finally started to tell me. She liked someone. That... someone was me. But she didn't know it was me... cause technically, it wasn't. It was _Rabbit.._. She started to get a crush on the side to me that I hate! And I can't even tell her it was me, cause that's too dangerous for both her and me!" She said, bringing her legs up to her forehead and burying her face against her knees. "A-And above that, even with her liking Rabbit, even if I wasn't a ghoul, what am I supposed to feel!? I'm kinda.. So... confused! I'm always there for her, always- and the one she likes is Rabbit!? I mean, technically I am Rabbit but she doesn't know that! And I don't even know why the hell I give a shit! I-"

She sighed, then began to grip her PJ bottoms as she grit her teeth together. This was... a weird situation for her. "I don't even like girls that way... so... why is this even a problem for me? I'm... I'm scared, damn it. I want to hide away from her, but that's so... suspicious."

Hinami watched, blinking and thinking. She had never seen Touka so stressed- it was clear that Yoriko meant a whole lot to her. And... didn't Nishiki have a human girlfriend? It wasn't impossible. Maybe she should talk to him?

... She opened her mouth to speak before flashbacks drove into her mind. Ones of Touka and Nishiki fighting like cat and dog, the insults that she felt ashamed to have heard. Yeah... maybe not the best idea. Touka might even get annoyed at her comments. So, she had to think further.

"... Touka, I don't know if you'll get mad at me... but... are you sure you don't like girls? It's just... You never actually mention finding any guys attractive in any way..." She said, rubbing her chin with a blush. This wasn't exactly Hinamis forte either. But it was her big sister! She had to look after her just as much as her big sister looked after her.

Touka looked up, her eyes growing increasingly bloodshot from the stress. "I mean... I dunno. I never really thought about it. But I know... I don't like Yoriko... I mean, she's human." She said defensively, not even thinking.

... And neither was Hinami when she perked up and commented almost too quickly. "...That didn't stop you from loving her as a friend... did it?"

Touka felt as though her world had imploded at the comment; as though she had a sudden epiphany. That wasn't even something she had considered- the fact that she did indeed love the orange haired girl. It was an emotion that she had hardly ever associated with herself, to begin with. Not because she held herself above it, but more because it scared her. Love meant loss when people disappeared like always. Love meant pain. And it was made all too clear on the night when she saw Yoriko laying upon the ground, bleeding, bruised... broken. She was as fragile as a butterfly, as beautiful as one too. It was love. Hinami was correct. And it was killing Touka from the inside. It was as though it was a cruel reality she didn't want to accept, not just for Yoriko but anyone.

Why did she have to feel such horrible, pathetic emotions that only caused her and anyone she ever loved pain? She felt like she was nothing but a bad luck charm; even less than a person... she couldn't do this to Yoriko.

"- Touka?"

She was brought out of her invasive thoughts with Hinamis worried speaking, looking up at her with wide eyes and parted lips.

"S-Sorry. I just... N-No, I mean... just because I love Yoriko that way doesn't mean I love her.. in... that way. Sorry, Hinami. I know you're trying, but this situation is too hard. Honestly, I just want to go to sleep and forget about it..." She said, turning away with a tired look in her violet eyes, causing Hinami to fidget uncomfortably. She hated seeing Touka suffer like this. Alas, she couldn't do a thing about it. Only watch.

She was only a child... after all.

"Sorry, Touka..." She said, hugging her tightly before she stood, lingering before she spoke a weak "Goodnight...", then walking out of the door and closing it quietly, thus leaving Touka to her thoughts.

Yoriko was such an enigma.

She laid down, picking up her phone as she dialled the human's number. She didn't even know why. She just watched the screen show her name, tears suddenly falling. Why was she feeling so damn helpless?! She was just worried about her... right?

Maybe she was just better off alone. And yet... the phone was ringing.  
And then it was picked up...

"Hello? Touka?" Yoriko said, making Touka hold the phone to her ear shakily.

"Oh- Hey, Yoriko! I didn't think you'd actually be awake... I don't even know why I called... are you holding up well?" She said her voice kind of weak. She could hear Yoriko giggle from the other end of the line, causing her stomach to knot painfully.

"Sure! Those shortbread biscuits were amazing! I can't believe you made them all for me... I was so convinced that you were going to share food with me for once. You really need to eat your own food at some point- my Mom said you're just as talented as me!" She said, light giggling escaping her once again.

Touka blushed, murmuring defensively. "Why does your Mom say stuff like that, it's embarrassing..."

Yoriko laughed. "Moms are all like that!"

Touka only smiled painfully. It wasn't as though she could relate to it, so she just ignored it. "So... uh... can I ask something? Are you... okay? After telling me what you did?" She said, triggering silence from the other side of the phone.

"... I'm fine. Your words actually helped a lot. Though... I don't think I can stop liking her." Yoriko said, causing Touka both anger and happiness at the same time. Darn, Yoriko made her so emotionally weak at times.

Touka sighed, slicking back her black hair between her fingers and releasing a short response. "Surely there's someone better than her, Yoriko... someone who's always there for you? Surely..."

And so, more laughter. "C'mon Touka, only you're there for me that much! And you're my best friend... and straight as a ruler. You love Kaneki, after all, ~"

Toukas face heated instantly, her face contorting. "Oi, knock it off, will you? It's getting on my nerves, I don't like him! And besides, since when have I openly stated I don't at all like girls!? Stop assuming things, will you?!" She said, causing the other side of the phone to once again go silent at her words.

... Oh God, why did she say that?!

"Touka-Chan... Are you gay too?!"  
The words, once again made Touka blush, causing her to groan. "It was just a comment! Why do people keep asking me that!? I never said I liked girls either, Yoriko!"

"You also never gave any sort of answer-"

"Shush!"

Again, more silence... and then laughter. "I love you, Touka. You make me laugh. You're such a good friend. Sorry for questioning your secret sexuality~ I will remain the gay best friend, for now." She said, causing Toukas stomach to knot once more. Hearing her say she loved her... that was a shock.

"... I love you too, idiot. That was made painfully obvious when I stayed in the hospital with you for a week, fighting off angry nurses who insisted visiting time was over."

She was hiding the resentment in her own words. She still hated love, platonic or not. But she couldn't just avoid returning the words. That would just be cruel. But it really annoyed her nonetheless... Still, it was not Yorikos fault.

"... You're amazing, Touka- Oh... um... Gosh, my Mother is knocking... I gotta go, Touka. Cya tomorrow!" She said, making Touka frown. She didn't want her to go away. Despite her being the source of her annoyance, she was still comforting.

"... Cya, Yoriko." She said, hearing the other side of the line clicked. She was gone.

Touka sighed and stood up, moving to stare out of the window with a conflicted look on her face. She couldn't believe she had said she loved someone. To her, exchanging such a comment was... a promise. A promise that Touka didn't want to make so lightly. A promise that she would never leave the other, a friendship beyond any other was formed. That's exactly why she didn't say them any sooner. Because she wasn't sure if she was willing to make such a sacrifice for a human being, the source of her lifes worth of suffering. The cause of her families destruction, her loneliness. But at the same time, now, humans were the only reason she wasn't alone. The only way she had felt any sort of love toward someone and admitted it in so long. She couldn't begin to understand if it was just a one-off, or if she was getting soft-hearted. But Yoriko was changing her, for better and worse.

Did... she love Yoriko Kosaka in a romantic fashion?

Yoriko, in Toukas opinion, was an amazing woman. Talented, adorably clumsy, shy, friendly, caring, humble... in many ways, everything Touka wished she was and more. She was also amazingly beautiful, much to Toukas embarrassment for thinking. But it wasn't like she wasn't allowed to find another woman platonically beautiful, by any stretch of the imagination.

... But none of these points meant she was in love with the girl. She could just have been intensely thankful for her friendship and admire her as a person just as much. She didn't know anymore. All she knew was that she was confused, both with her sexuality now and her emotions. It was neverending torture, at this point. She couldn't do a thing about it. Did she ask someone for help? Did she?

... Maybe... Yoshimura?

Maybe. He was an expert on ghoul relationships with humans! If it wasn't for him making her attend the damn school in the first place, she wouldn't be having this problem! It was his fault, all his fault! She wished she never attended school!

"... No, now I'm just being silly... This isn't anyone's fault..." She murmured, leaning her head against the glass and staring at the buzzing scenery of the illuminated city before her glassy, violet eyes. Such a beautiful place with such a horrible curse upon it... and she was the curse. She, her family... everyone.

... She couldn't help but think that Yoriko, alongside other humans, would be so much better of without ghouls existing at all. If she didn't exist... Yoriko wouldn't have begun to like her... and that ghoul wouldn't have hurt her. Alongside that, she wouldn't have hurt her that one time when Touka tried to protect her from Mayuhara. It was just dealt with by the cruel hand of fate that Touka and other ghouls did exist. It was unreal... the amount of guilt she felt, that was. But she couldn't stop existing, could she? Or couldn't stop ghouls existing.

Why was everything so complicated?

"Yoriko, you really are a problematic girl..." She said, broken laughter escaping her as she closed her eyes, her skin cool against the frosty glass of her window. She didn't know what else to do but... give it time. Perhaps spend even more time with Yoriko; ask her questions about it. It wouldn't hurt, would it?

... would it?

She wasn't sure anymore.  
Who would be?

"Why am I a ghoul again? Of all the things, why a ghoul- I'd rather of been born a mutant... ugh, I need a coffee."

Touka moved away from the window, beginning to walk to her door...

... Before her phone rang, her eyes then turned to look at the device as she picked it up once more. It was... Yoriko again?

She pressed the answer button, pressing it to her ear with a raised brow.

"Hello-" "Touka, I need help..."

Adrenaline suddenly shot through her body. What? Yorikos voice was so... desperate. "What happened, Yoriko-? I'm here don't worry..."

Yoriko released a shaky breath. "M...My Mom overheard us... she heard that I like girls... and... that I like a girl. She's getting on my case, asking me who it is! She'd kill me if I told her it was... HER... she'd stop me from ever leaving the house! What do I do?!"

Touka put on the speakerphone, laying down with wide eyes. She'd... caused so much damage. Not only to Yoriko herself... but now her family. She sighed and curled up in a ball, shaking a little.

Why was she such a curse?  
Yoriko didn't deserve this...

"Yoriko... Don't panic... just... go to sleep. We can discuss this tomorrow. Can you do that? Just... cover the truth. It's okay to lie about this. It's only a crush. It will go away, okay?" She said, unable to come up with anything else to say.

"... Alright, Touka-Chan... I'll do that..." She said, a disheartened tone more than evident. Clearly, she was expecting more help than that. But... Touka... just... couldn't.

"Goodnight, Touka..." She heard from the phone, then an immediate click. She didn't even get time to say goodnight...

"... What have I done! Damn it... damn it..." Touka grunted out, pulling at her hair a little.

Clearly, things were heating up. And Touka had no power to stop it.


	6. Chapter 6

Touka couldn't sleep.

No, not with all these thoughts swimming through her mind. Not with her worry for the usually bright eyed girl that was suddenly faced with an unnecessary amount of suffering simply because she was _alive _and not _dead._

She was at a loss, really. The situation itself was horrid. Be it Yoriko waking up in the night from fear and calling Touka due to her traumatised state, or Yorikos mother insisting she admitted who her crush was... or even just that. The crush. The oh so shocking truth that shattered her mind. How was she supposed to deal with this?

Rabbit was... not Touka. Rabbit was an incarnation of everything she hid; everything that she loathed about herself was revealed when she slipped on that mask and wig. So... how could Yoriko like that? How could that be something she saw light in? She knew Yoriko was a positive spirit, but liking a murderer was a far stretch even for her. When she first rescued her, the first thought that entered her mind was that she would have a new found deep hatred for ghouls. Not... that. Not a crush. What was she thinking?

Touka sat up in her bed and ran her fingers through her black hair, her eyes moving around the room and falling on a photograph on her nightstand. A photo of the two of them. Yoriko looked... so happy...

What was the appeal? She wondered. Why did she like her so much? Even when she shown her darkest colours... she liked her. Even when she wasn't aware it was Touka... she liked her. No matter what she did, Yoriko stayed by her side.

What did that mean to her?

A lot. More than she was letting even herself know. That was for damn sure. It made her blush every time the thoughts invaded her confused mind... and... well...

She couldn't believe Yoriko liked her... of all girls in Tokyo; her. What did she feel- God, what the hell did she really _fee_l? It was all well and good to dwell on Yoriko's feelings... but...

She hardly ever stopped to consider her own feelings, did she? Usually she wouldn't care so much, but now she got the impression it may lead her to some sort of action. Maybe even a conclusion of what to do.

_"Are you sure you don't like girls?"_

The words from a certain younger ghoul suddenly entered her mind once more, making her groan. Why was that topic laying so heavy on her?

...

She needed a time out. Time to breathe, time to take in some air and to feel... free, was it?

Free. That was truly what she wanted to feel. Not tied up by all these situations... so she stood up, stripped out of her PJs, and threw clothes on; any clothes... which ended up being her shorts and pink, long sleeved shirt. As well as this, she pulled on her boots, not at all bothering to put on socks.

She finalised this outfit with a pink wig and a mask. After all, she wanted to sprint. Not run, sprint. This would surely get out her frustration.

It was time for her to finally let go.

Touka had been running for... God knows how long. Not jogging in the street like people usually would to distress, but rather, leaping across buildings; sprinting almost aimlessly. In fact, if she wasn't targeting distracting herself, it would have been aimless. She didn't choose a direction, she just jumped... she didn't care about how long she was out here, she was just sprinting.

That in itself was a mistake. A mistake she would pay for, dearly.

It wasn't often she let herself get so worked up that she forgot the extent of her own abilities... that ending at stamina. Stamina was the bane of her existence... and... it was faltering.

"Shit..." She stated in an annoyed manner as she panted. Her lungs felt tight, as though they were going to collapse in on themselves at any time. But she wasn't ready... she didn't want to stop, not yet, just a bit farther, she had to-

But... that was a mistake as well.

She leapt off of the ledge to try and cross over one more building... but... it was too far between each other. She knew what was coming next, and she barely had time to prepare herself for it.

She felt her body plummet down toward the ground, and... then against the ground. 4 stories worth of pain immediately shot like a shockwave through her shoulder, causing a small scream of pain to exit her lips.

It wasn't worst pain she had ever felt... but it wasn't very fucking pleasant either. Of course it wasn't... and as quick as it would heal, she had at least snapped a rib.

She groaned after two minutes of laying there silently, then pushing onto the floor with her hands so she could sit on her knees, looking around the area she was sat in. It had only just hit her that she didn't actually know exactly where she had ended up on her journey... although, it did look familiar.

She pressed her grazed hand to the wall besides herself, adjusting her mask. She needed to be sure she was somewhere quiet... somewhere she could go home... somewhere...

...

Her eyes narrowed. Something seemed... odd. Like she had been here recently. Perhaps it was her tired mind playing tricks on her... but... she needed to be sure.

She crept out toward the exit of the alleyway she had less than gracefully fell into, before her eyes widened. She wasn't just anywhere at this point... she was... around the area Yoriko lived. A few streets away, in fact...

Had her mind been playing tricks on her? Why would she automatically drag herself here? Why...  
Why couldn't she just give this situation up?

No matter what she did, Yoriko was in her head. It was starting to all become too much... yet, she was still drawn to her. She needed her, she needed to see Yoriko again. But if she turned up now... without her mask... she'd probably rush her to the hospital for an x-ray. Which, she felt, would go very wrong. What if they took a blood test!? What if th-

No... stop. She had to stop this madness.

She slipped down the wall and sighed, closing her eyes behind the mask that concealed her identity. She was tired of... avoiding everything. And lying to herself instead of allowing herself to learn more. Maybe she did feel something for Yoriko. And if she did... was it really such a big deal? People got crushes all the time; _humans got crushes all the time... _and she was always surrounded by them... so was it really so shocking that she would gain such an influence?

... She wasn't sure anymore. But it was a start. Letting herself think was a good idea. Going out was a good idea-

"... Oh my God."

A familiar voice made her body jolt in shock all of a sudden, causing her to jump to her feet and look toward the source.

...  
No fucking way. It was Yoriko, trembling and staring at her. What was she doing out at this time?! In crutches, no less- she was too weak for that! Toukas protective mind was running laps at the new knowledge- she completely forgot the fact she was stood there as none other than rabbit herself for a moment... but she remembered quickly, before she let herself speak her best friends name... thank God.

"U-Uh-" Yoriko stuttered, turning red at the sight of the masked ghoul. Yoriko had been out... well... getting air. Not quite as vigorous as the Rabbit... she just managed to get out and wander the safety of her neighbourhood. She was... hardly expecting to see Rabbit, of all people.

"... You're... the one who rescued me... right?" She finally inquired, her words a clumsy mess as she forced them out. Crap, the conversation had began... and Touka didn't want it.

"I guess I am..." The rabbit ghoul stated in a forced, distorted voice, causing the human to flinch. It was as though Yoriko knew it wasn't the correct vocal tone... but she said nothing against it. She didn't dare to question.

Silence quickly fell between them, as Yoriko couldn't find the right way to respond. But Touka could see the worry in her eyes... her eyes that were... looking toward her shoulder, and her dirty clothes.

Her shoulder was bleeding through her shirt... and it was making her regret ignoring her instinct to grab a coat. She'd heard the saying 'don't let your enemies see you bleed', but she didn't think the rule applied among friends... until it became nothing but a burden.

"It's funny... you...you... uh..." Yoriko began, her eyes darting around the place nervously as she shook in her crutches. "You... found me hurt and now... I found you hurt." The human said awkwardly, much to Toukas confusion. Of course, she knew why Yoriko was shy... but... why was she shaking?

...

Oh... right. She was in her rabbit disguise... it was going to be tricky remembering that detail with Yoriko being right in front of her...

She couldn't act the way she usually did... for Yorikos sake as well as her own. If Yoriko knew... she'd never be able to be near her again. Touka would have to leave school, Anteiku... everywhere for the sake of her friend.

"Look, just cuz I saved ya once, doesn't mean I'd do it again. I hate seein' my kind act stupid like that- I didn't do it for you. So stop acting like I'm a friend. Geez. I'm a fucking monster, do you want me to tear you to shreads!?" Touka snapped, her body suddenly jolting forward in an attempt to scare the human off.

It was... slightly successful. Yoriko was startled, for sure... enough to fall over, staring at her with nothing but shock evident upon her innocent face.

It hurt. It hurt seeing Yoriko making such a face... it hurt... being the cause of it. Due to this pain ripping through her chest, Touka slowly eased up, her eyes wide behind the comforting camouflage of her mask.

Why wasn't she moving?! She knew she fell over, but she could crawl, she could... do anything but remain seated. In front of her, as though she was offering herself as one of her victims.

Yoriko was a fool, Touka thought to herself, her head turning away as she leant herself back up against the wall.

And a fool she was... because Yoriko wasn't scared. Or shy, for once in her life. She was in awe- slightly startled - but still in awe. She knew the ghoul wouldn't hurt her, and she was right. Seeing her retreat like that back against the cold brick was more than enough to confirm her safety.

Yoriko coughed and moved her arms out of the crutches, shuffling toward her and tilting her head.

"Can I see your arm?"  
"...Hah?!" Touka exclaimed in shock, turning to face her again as her hand instinctively grasped the hurt limb. Of course, Touka needed it looked at. Especially with her being alone here... without a phone.

But she couldn't let her do that. What if she recognised... something? A freckle? Anything- it was too risky.

"What don't you understand about the fact I'm a-"  
"_Monster... _is that what you're... gonna say?" Yoriko mused, lifting the ghouls sleeve... causing a flinch. And a shocked gasp.

It was hard to tell which one was from the pain. Or if any of them were of a consequence of it... it may have just been Yoriko scaring her. And by God, she was. Her heart was... pounding, her mind was racing- what was this feeling? What was it? Why-

"I'm so sick of people calling you a monster. At... this point, I don't even blame the one who attacked me." Yoriko said quietly, her fingers lightly grazing over the ghouls small wound... most likely from something on the floor that she didn't notice when she landed due to her panic and confusion.

"You guys... need to eat. Just like I do! People kill and eat animals all the time... and yet... it's different when it's us... I think it's... It's... c-complete bullshit! They call you evil but... no race is... completely evil. You rescued me. Regardless of your reason, you rescued me... and... if it wasn't for you, I'd be dead. So stop calling yourself that!"

Touka wanted to see the lie in her friends eyes. She was looking down at her shy, innocent face, almost begging for it silently. But she saw nothing but truth there... and even a small tear. Was she really that worked up by her rescuing her?

Touka was scared. She didn't know how to react anymore... she was speechless.

"... Yor- uh... miss- please, you're making things worse-" Touka stuttered, her fake voice faltering... just like her fake anger. And Yoriko just smiled, without a care in the world as she wiped away the tear that gathered on the side of her eye.

"You know my name... don't you? I mean... I don't know who you are... but you know me. And... you know... I won't pry in. I won't ask you who you are. I trust and feel comfortable with you... whoever you are. So I'll stick to calling you rabbit. Now... do me a favour?"

Yoriko moved away from the ghoul and pressed up against the wall, lifting her crutches in the process as she steadied herself. She then stared down at the ghoul, a shy look crossing her features.

"... My parents aren't home, for once. I convinced them that I'd be fine on my own... they left a good while ago. Probably staying in a hotel to get some time alone... so... Come back home with me? We'd be alone..."

...

_What?_

Suddenly Toukas voice changed to a different pitch, her eyes widening behind the rabbit mask as she scurried away from the human, ignoring the pain burning on her shoulder... she'd had worse pain, anyways.

"Woah woah _WOAH, _PERVERT! What the _hell _did you just-?! What are you implying?! Hell no, I'm not going back to your-"  
"... I... I meant to... patch up your shoulder..."

Silence soon fell between them.

Of course she meant her shoulder. Wh...why did her thoughts immediately trail to the weirdest possible scenario?! It was humiliating, no, it must have been insulting to Yor-

...

Laughter soon interrupted the ghouls thoughts... much to her dismay. Her face was completely crimson behind the rabbit mask. And Yoriko was completely crimson herself.

"Wh- What's so funny, weirdo!?"  
"You- you! You're funny! You're funny! You seriously thought a girl like me was... tryna pick you up?! I don't even know what you look like!"  
"So what!? What's the issue-?! Stop laughing-"

And yet, Yoriko couldn't stop. And Touka couldn't stop staring in annoyance... and yet...

She looked so pretty when she laughed like that.

... The ghoul shook her head, groaning as she crossed her legs to sit properly on the floor. Okay, so... she had to assess the situation. Yoriko wanted to help patch up her hurt shoulder that was caused by Touka trying to get over the stress that Yoriko herself had caused her.

Why couldn't _anything _be simple anymore!?

"You're gonna be the death of me, you... stupid human." She said in defeat, moving to stand up. "Fine... you wanna help me? Go ahead. Then we'll be even. And I won't _ever_ have to see you again. And just for the record, I'm not someone you know behind this mask. So don't assume I am." She said defensively, not meaning any of the words she stated so bitterly. She wanted Yoriko to hate her, but the human just smiled again.

"Oh... well... we'll have to see, won't we? Maybe you'll hear more from me... who knows where the future will take us?" She said in a rather cheeky manner, turning around on her crutches and looking outside the alleyway. Much to Toukas shock. Since... when did she talk to anyone like that?

It was almost... flirty.

She shook her head, holding her hurt shoulder as she approached the human. "You... walk. I'll follow on from the shadows. I'm a wanted woman; if I'm caught with you, we'll both be killed. So just... get going."

Yoriko turned her head to stare up toward the rabbit mask, smiling gently.  
"See? You care about my safety... you're not as cruel as you make yourself out to be. Okay... you follow in whatever way suits you."

And with that, Yoriko left the alleyway and... Toukas eyes. followed in shock. Just her eyes... for a minute. Before she finally shook her head, analysing a way to move through the area and making her way around, through the shadows.

Yoriko truly was her biggest weakness. And now she was showing it on her sleeve...

Going to her house couldn't be a good idea. But she had no other choice.


	7. Chapter 7

'Bullshit... bullshit bullshit, this is bullshit. How did I get myself into this mess? How - how God damn it...-!'

Those repetitive thoughts were becoming a normality for Touka in the last few days, and considering the current situation, that wasn't about to change any time soon. She was hurt, and now trapped in the awkward position of having to be looked over by the one person she really didn't want to see that night.

And she didn't mean it in a cruel way - Of course not... she adored Yoriko with every fibre of her being. But when she was dealing with so much confusion after rescuing her, and finding out that she actually had a crush on her alter-ego-murderous-wanted-woman side, it was safe to assume she may have needed some time to process everything.

...

Well, Toukas version of processing everything didn't go well anyways. But it was besides the point - so what if she almost died trying to vent her frustrations!?

... She felt idiotic for that thought. And it was one she would never think again. Die to rid of her frustration... how stupid. She could just talk it through subtly with Yoriko herself.

However, that was easier said than done. After their awkward interaction earlier when Yoriko found her after plummeting off a roof, you could say the tension between them grew so thick you could slice it with a knife. It wasn't easy anymore... and she couldn't find a way to speak at all when she had finally entered the Kosaka residence, and found herself awkwardly sat upon Yorikos bed. On the edge, as if she was ready to spring up and run away at any moment, if given reason to do so.

However, Yoriko was in her en suite bathroom, struggling to route through all her medical supplies with one arm holding herself up on her crutches, the other buried in the bathroom cabinet. Although Touka herself offered to collect whatever the girl apparently needed to fix her up, Yoriko simply gave a glare, followed by the stern words _'__sit down before I make you.'_

Well... it wasn't exactly a phrase she was expecting to hear from Yoriko, but despite being dressed up in her Rabbit get up, she instinctively felt the need to be polite, and allowed herself to sit down on the bed and watch Yoriko carry things through into the room... struggling. But alas, she had a bag of supplies under her arm, and a look of adorable determination immovable among her angel like facial features.

...It was true - Yoriko well and truly had the ghoul weak. And honestly? Toukas assumption that Yoriko knew that was probably more than close to the truth. That idea became especially worrisome as she saw the human sit down next to her, put her crutches down on the bed, and then begin to lay out the small amount of medical supplies that she thought was suitable for Toukas injuries. Honestly, she did a good job, too. Probably due to the fact she was so used to medical issues now with her own being a day-to-day problem...

"... I coulda helped, ya know. Why do you insist on being stupid and looking after me?" Touka, or rather rabbit, finally asked behind her mask of her cold attitude... causing Yoriko to smile. Causing her release that God damn giggle that made Touka feel so light. She didn't get why a mere sound made her so weak at the knees... perhaps it was just annoying.

Annoying... _annoying_... yeah, she'd keep telling herself that lie for her own sanities sake. Yes, the best friend who she loved and adored had the most annoying laugh in the world. It wasn't... soothing. Cute. Nothing like that.  
Lies lies lies... she lived and breathed lies... damn it.

"I wanna look after you because... well everyone needs help from time to time! Besides... If it wasn't for you, I'd actually be dead. I wouldn't have even had the chance to fight back - or try and heal. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be able to see my family and friends again. I wouldn't see Touka-Chan again. I'm... greatful to you. Even if you hate me."

Touka's heart throbbed at the mention of her real name. The fact Yoriko cared so much that she'd mention her when she wasn't around... actually meant a lot to her. And she was glad that Yoriko couldn't see her bright blush behind the security of her rabbit mask.

However, now was an oppurtunity to ask more about herself and... perhaps she was nosy. But maybe Yoriko would say something different to Rabbit than to herself? Maybe... just maybe.

"Touka? Who the hells that? Their name sounds stupid." She said, thankful that her uncontrollable smirk was hidden, once again, by the mask... especially when Yorikos features turned to that adorable, yet pissed off expression. She wasn't even going to lie. It was so adorable... damn it.

"What!? Touka-Chans name is _beautiful_! C'mon, don't be so mean! She's... a really good person! She's been my best friend since we were 14!" She said defensively, pouting as she grabbed a pair of tweezers and moved the rabbit ghouls clothing in order to access the small, yet unpleasant open wound. With that, she began to remove any debris (like small stones).

Despite Yorikos actions, however, Toukas mind was elsewhere completely. She knew Yoriko loved her to bits and pieces, just like she herself loved Yoriko the same. But she wanted to tease the easily embarrassed girl... after all... she teased her so often. Besides, it was all in good fun... right?

Oh her smirk was never going to fade. At least, not for a good hour or so.

"A good person, eh? Why'd you hesitate then, Yoriko-Chan? I bet I'm a better person than she'd ever be, and I'm a ghoul." She stated in a teasing tone of voice, much to the humans dismay.

Yoriko was pouting so much... it was great. Touka thought it was just out of amusement, but her entire face was red behind the mask. Yoriko was so easy to tease - and she looked so cute when she was being - wait -

Ugh, it had to be the third time Touka had thought that. She needed to snap out of it. Yoriko was a cute person. Of course. But they were friends... it was weird to think that so often.  
Right?  
Right...

"Touka-Chan is just as great of a person as you! You... both saved me. You saved my life and she stopped me feeling so lonely!"

... Ah. Now it was Toukas turn to be embarrassed. Stopped her feeling lonely, huh? But... Yoriko had her parents. A family. Everything like that... why... would she be lonely? Well, she knew her parents worked a lot, but...

... did Yoriko crave friendship more than family? It wasn't something she was expecting. And she knew that Yoriko was... shy. To say the very least. She spoke for her sometimes, defended her from teasing comments... everything like that. Yoriko was a delicate girl. Like a flower.

"Loneliness, huh? Well... at least you're not lonely. I'll give her that. It's... always good to have someone beside you." She murmured, her eyes following Yorikos movements as she watched her pick up a wet cloth and clean the blood surrounding the wound on her arm.

"... Yeah. Though I always get the feeling Touka is more lonely than she tells me... she always seems to perk up around me. Which... makes me happy! I always feel like I actually mean something to her - and I'm a really shy person. I don't even really like myself... ah, I'm rambling. Sorry, Rabbit. Your wound seems to be okay - I'll have to bandage it up though. And you'll have to take it easy."

Touka just couldn't stop staring at the girl after she heard her words. Her... heart was throbbing. Yet, she was in pain. Yoriko didn't like herself? No... no that was wrong. She wanted to grab and shake her, tell her how much she was worth, make her see what she saw. It didn't matter if she was human. Yoriko was special. Yoriko was a bright light among darkness for her... she... she was amazing. How could she think so harshly of herself? How couldn't she see what Touka herself saw?

"... Why the fuck do you see yourself so negatively? Numbskull. Don't be such an idiot. You're... uh... crap I'm not good with words." The ghoul mumbled out, her hands moving to grasp the humans shoulders as she stared right into her eyes before she spoke.

"You're a... nice person. I mean, you helped me. And I kill people. I eat people. You're sat here removing small fucking stones from a tiny wound, when you have to walk with crutches, you're covered in bruises and... I'm assuming you're house bound cause you said your parents had to be gone for you to leave the house. Right? Damn it - You're too friendly to me. Yet, you don't care. You just want me and your friend to be happy. So why don't you see what we see?! Just... shut up. Don't say you don't like yourself again."

Silence soon followed the words the ghoul had allowed to be free. It wasn't awkward... nor painful. It was a comfortable silence. And their eyes weren't straying away from one another even for a short minute.

Had... Yorikos eyes always been that pretty? Touka wondered to herself. It was like she was captivated - and it felt Yoriko was the same with Toukas own eyes once again through the mask.

They were still for so long. Touka felt hypnotized. And it was only made worse when Yorikos hand reached up, slowly... moving up almost in slow motion... before pushing below the mask, against Toukas skin. She was touching her face... not taking off the mask... just... feeling her. As if she didn't believe she was real.

What...  
What was happening?

"... Rabbit... uh... can you just... trust me? For one second... I won't do anything bad like take your mask off... I just... I need to do something..." Yoriko murmured, her hands moving to grasp the sides of the mask... just... slightly pushing it up.

Touka was panicking.  
Why was she doing that!? She just said she wouldn't take it off, what was she doing!?

... With her panic, her hands gently grasped Yorikos hands... however, it was too late. They had already stopped moving the mask. But... it was only slightly up her face.

But... Touka could only see her slightly now. Her eyes could just about peek out of the eye holes. It was enough to work out what she was seeing... at least.

"I'm... uh... I promise, I'm just trying something! Stop me when you want! I just uh... mhm... wait a second."

What was happening? She could see Yoriko approaching her though the mask... closing her eyes... wait. Wait... was she... about to...  
... Touka was frozen.  
Did she want this? Her brain and heart were screaming yes as an answer. Time was moving so slowly as the girls face moved closer to her own. Her... lips too.

Was this really happening? Why did she want this?

She didn't know... but her lips were so close she could feel Yorikos breath on her face; it was quite fast from... probably fear. Which made her wonder how she'd ever worked up the courage to do this in the first place.

So close. It was... so close... their lips were merely inches apart now...

... so close... what the fuck was happening!? Touka couldn't do this. Yoriko was... human. She was a fucking human. It was wrong. All of this was wrong. She had to... stop it.

"... I'm sorry-!" The ghoul stated in a panicked voice, suddenly standing up and pulling her mask down. She had full vision now... but her eyes were on anything but Yoriko in that moment.

She couldn't face her. She couldn't look at her after she had denied her kiss. Even hearing her voice now felt like a bullet to the shoulder. Although she was accepting... she... sounded heartbroken.

"... It's... okay, Rabbit. I... I understand, you don't-"  
"-It's getting late, Yoriko. I have to go... I can bandage my arm up when I get home." The ghoul interrupted, her body moving to the window to open it.

She didn't look at Yoriko.  
Not at all, even with her last words.

"... Please, don't... take it the wrong way. We're not meant for one another. We're walking two different paths of life. Please... find someone you can truly be with without putting your life on the line."

And with that... Touka climbed out the window, despite the pain on her arm, and jumped down, heading home. Without looking back. Without another word... without a sound. Leaving Yoriko to her thoughts.

This... certainly complicated things.


	8. Chapter 8

She felt like a fool.

She was never a confident girl. She would try her best to avoid potential, awkward situations. She would hardly attempt to befriend anyone or talk to anyone in school. She was always just sat alone until Touka came along and made her lonesome self become part of a duo. Or... rather, she worked up the courage to approach the once quiet, angry looking member of her classes. So... her nature was rather reserved. She kept herself to herself, all the time. The only times that changed seemed to be when she was around Touka.

... And now, Rabbit. Which was why she couldn't understand just what took over when she leant in for that kiss. Why did she think that was at all a good idea!? Rabbit seemed appalled by her advances, even going as far as to push Yoriko away, and flinch away from her touch. It was only when Rabbit spoke when she felt ever so slightly relieved. She wasn't angry... more so, sad. Why was the ghoul sad for her?

Whatever the case was, Yoriko believed had ruined everything anyways. The possible friendship, the possibility of seeing below that mask. But she couldn't help herself. When she was with Rabbit, it felt like everything in the world was unimportant. And it was just her, the ghoul and her racing heart. She didn't want to feel this way, but when she felt the need to press a gentle kiss to the ghouls' lips, she just couldn't resist her. There was just something so familiar and warm to the ghoul that she couldn't quite understand. She at least knew it was a crush... but why did the ghoul seem so... memorable? why did Yoriko feel like she had known her for her entire life?

It didn't matter anymore, she supposed. It was all ruined anyway. And she had sunk into a depression she didn't even know was possible for someone as positive as herself. She was sat awake for hours now, staring at the messages on her phone, just waiting for the (ONLINE) symbol on Toukas messenger to pop up.

It was 5 AM. She didn't know why she thought it would come up. But she needed Touka. But, was a rejected kiss really worthy enough to wake someone up at 5 AM? No.

She figured waiting was useless. And besides... she was finally going back to school that day. That was something she forgot about. She would be dropped off, and she'd meet Touka at the school gate anyway. Yeah... Yeah, she'd talk to her then. She could talk to Touka in person when she saw her on her way to class.

Would... Would she think she was stupid? Touka wasn't exactly in favour of Yoriko pursuing this silly little crush on the ghoul in the first place. She didn't know just what Toukas instinctive reaction would be. Of course, she didn't doubt Touka being supportive. It was Touka after all! But it didn't mean she couldn't feel anger in any way. Because at the end of the day... Touka was right. She was always right. Rabbit truly was not a bad person, and that was evident from the reaction she gave when she tried to kiss her. But it didn't mean she knew who she was. She could have been anyone... literally anyone. It was the face to face equivalent of meeting an anonymous person and falling in love. Just because they put on a good front didn't mean that it was always that way.

She realised she was over thinking, rather quickly, and sighed as she began to cover her face with her sunflower print pillow... allowing her phone to unceremoniously lay screen up on the mattress, the dim light exposing her room to any eyes that lay upon it. She really did feel like a fool. But there was nothing she could really do about it by that point besides move on... right?

"Right." She murmured to herself, weakly moving her yellow covers off of her body with a sigh, beginning to raise up, and take hold of her crutches.

5:20 AM now - She usually left pretty early for school anyways to walk with Touka, but now was a different story due to her having transport organised by her parents. After all... she was on crutches. It would take her twice as long.

All she knew was that she wanted to get ready, and maybe watch something until 6:30 AM, when her transport arrived. It was something to distract her... maybe the anime adaption of the manga Touka (awkwardly) said was okay. It was something to do after all...

Better than nothing.

She hated the journey to school. It was torture getting in and out of the car that was organised - as it usually was when she went to sit down them days. That or get up, which contributed to the pain she felt when her driver helped her out when she arrived. And... that hell wasn't even including the hell that was going through her mind on the way there.

She hadn't been to school in weeks... maybe a month. And as much as most students would call that a vacation, she called it 'time to start fearing social interaction'. She was shy usually... let alone after she had returned to school after a close encounter of death. Did people even notice she was gone? Did they know why? Were they thinking how weak she was, or how dumb she was for going down that damn alleyway alone at night? Probably. In her mind, they all probably thought she was a damn idiot. Cause... that is what she thought herself as. After everything that had happened.

And those feelings were growing when she was stood there, in front of the school gate, waiting for Touka. It was obvious students knew... all eyes were on her for a while. So many passing, quick sympathetic gazes she didn't want to feel. No, she didn't want this, she didn't want the sympathy, it was her own fault for going that way in the first place!

She was shaking.  
Her anxiety was always bad, but it was never like this. She felt like people were in her face... staring at her visible scars on her hands and face, the still trembling of her still healing legs. It was torture beyond anything she had felt before... maybe even the gory attack of the ghoul that had caused this. She just wanted Touka to arrive and make that fear go away... she always made that fear disperse and fade. Would it work now? Would it?

She wanted it to stop, she needed it to... the chattering of the students was just too... loud... too much...

"So... you're back." She heard a familiar voice state in a sly manner, her bright eyes lifting in shock to stare toward someone in front of her. She... for a moment thought it was Touka. However... no. Not Touka. This wasn't Touka.

Mayuhara... of course. The girl that made Yorikos life hell. She didn't physically hurt her... no. She got into her head and made her feel less than she already thought she was. Touka usually protected her from this girl and her gang... but she wasn't here. Touka was late. She was late. And Yoriko couldn't even reply.

"It's rude to stare you know... and to ignore people when you're spoken to. You must have forgotten your manners when you got that free ride off of school." She remarked, moving to lean against a wall beside the trembling, weakened girl. Yoriko was... trapped. Frozen by her own fear. And nobody could help her. Nobody besides Touka would.

"I know what you're thinking. The same thing you do when you're feeding people that stupid poison you call food. You aren't going to get any sympathy or attention from anyone. Especially those guys you used to hit on... Even Touka isn't here. Doesn't she usually meet you by now? Maybe she gave up on you whilst you were relaxing in bed."

Yoriko wanted to say so much. How much everything hurt, how hard it was to even wake up in the morning, the struggle she was going through with her sexuality... she wanted to defend herself. She was desperate to, and the voice in the back of her head was screaming so loud she felt a headache coming on. But her fear was too much... she locked up. And her jaw clenched as tears began to rise.

She had everything to say, but nothing to say it with.  
She was still just a weak little girl. She knew she should have just stayed home. Why did she insist on coming back?

"Hah. Nothing to say as per usual, I see. Whatever, Kosaka-Chan... Your choice not to accept criticism. Oh... and FYI. Touka-Chan was just fine without you here. Unlike you, who can't breathe a word when I'm around." She finally stated, with that disgusting, smug smirk, as she shrugged and moved away from the wall... and then through the gate, not even bothering to make a final comment.

... She was gone. And the lingering eyes left, too. It was time for class after all.

She couldn't help but cry after she had left. Nothing huge... just... tears falling onto the muddy ground below her weakened legs. Why was she so weak? Why did she allow others to walk all over her? Mayuhara was right. She was useless in comparison to Touka... who hadn't even shown up like she said she would. Maybe she was too embarrassed to show her face around her. After everything that had happened... Touka knew her imperfections. Her weakness, her shyness, her inability to defend herself, the unjudged attachments she had grown to make to people... and her clinginess. She had no doubt in Touka. But she wouldn't blame her for trying to avoid herself. She would have too.

She shook her head, and raised her crutches, slowly making her way to her first class.  
She wouldn't linger just to bother her when she arrived late. That'd probably just make her mad.

It was just better to leave her alone.

Touka didn't sleep that night. She never usually could after a stressful night. And of course, a stressful night would link to almost being kissed by her best friend. As her secret identity. She had a lot on her mind... as well as having a damn wound on her body that she didn't let Yoriko patch up.

The injury was throbbing. And it wasn't easy to treat herself - albeit her being used to doing so. After all, she grew up gaining similar injuries. It wasn't as though it wouldn't heal of course, probably fully within two days. But it was still an inconvenience. And one she'd have to come up with an excuse for when she met with Yoriko.

She didn't want to make too much of a big deal of the night before... no... it would just make things awkward between her and Yoriko. And she was sure turning her down would fix everything... It had to. Yoriko wouldn't pursue what couldn't be earnt. It oddly hurt Touka's heart to think, but it was the sensible option. And the safest for Yoriko no matter what way you looked at it. Touka was just a danger magnet. In Toukas opinion, it was bad enough that she even put Yoriko through the hell of being her friend. Let alone a best friend.

She appreciated the friendship though, obviously. She felt blessed to have even met Yoriko in the first place. So it was best to just... leave it at that.

No more complications.

Well. That's what she thought, anyway. Until she left to go down the stairs and into the cafe to say goodbye to Yoshimura. However, she was simply met with the glares of the members... and with the confusion of her own.

It wasn't an angry glare as such... more so an uncomfortable one. And Touka couldn't quite work out what she had done.

"Uh... Yo. Are you guys running late to open today? I can't really stop and help 'cause I'm supposed to meet Yoriko this morning..." She murmured, simply meeting silence. Did... did she do something wrong?

"Okay, I'll say it then..." Koma began murmuring, stepping forward and staring toward the awkward looking teen with a sympathetic gaze. "Yomo followed you last night. To see where you were going so late. Ya know... just to make sure you were alright. He saw everything. And before you blab, Yoriko got to you before he did."

Touka visibly winced. How much was 'everything'!? Couldn't she just... have some alone time?!

"Why the fuck would you do that, Yomo-San!? I'm not a kid! I can look after myself! Damn it, what the hell do I have to do to get some privacy around here?!" She blurted out in a state of panic, which only caused a simple eye roll from the grey-haired man, leaning against the bar. Deep down he had much to say. But, of course, he wouldn't say it.

Yoshimura did, however.  
"Yomo was doing as he is instructed to do, and that protects Anteiku and those within it. We can not say much regarding you leaving at night. But your reckless actions are going to cause some damage. That bandage under your shirt says enough for yourself." He stated calmly, causing Touka to glare toward him.

He interrupted her before she could argue. "We have noticed the danger in your friendship with your identity. Yomo did tell me Yoriko went to lift your mask... and it took you a long time to back away from that. Now... I can not tell you what to do and what not to do. However... need I remind you of safety regarding your identity. We all don't know why you would allow her to get so close... so explain. If you can."

He did not seem mad. And that was because he was not mad. Touka knew when he was mad, and of course, he wasn't at that point. He had grown to love a human woman in the past, and he would not sink into any form of hypocrisy. However, Touka was embarrassed. She had to explain the situation now?! And she was late to meet Yoriko! This was a disaster.

"I- She just wanted to... see if I was injured. I hit my jaw on the way down, okay!?" She exclaimed, causing Yomo to raise a rare comment.  
"You fell on your arm. And your friend got very close to you. There's no use in lying to people who want to help you."

Damn it. Damn it damn it. Touka didn't want to talk about this... however, she knew with witness accounts there wasn't many ways around it. She had to say it.

"... Yoriko was going to kiss me. Yoriko has a crush on Rabbit, okay? I pulled away in panic and I left before she could fix me up. Are you happy now!? Just... discuss amongst yourselves. I probably fucking broke her heart last night and I want to see her. I don't care if you think it's dangerous. I don't. I appreciate you caring, but just stay out of it!" She responded, then pushing past the group and heading to the door.

"I want to discuss this later, Touka. Eventually, we will have to talk." Yoshimura said, apparently not as phased as the other, more shocked members of the group. Touka paused as her hand hit the door handle, her eyes narrowing in sadness. Maybe... it was something she needed. Advice. Maybe...

"I... need time to think, Yoshimura-San. Please, don't push me." She stated in a calmer manner, opening the door and then leaving the building, her bag slung over her good shoulder.

She couldn't believe how much was happening to her at once. It was as though everything was a massive issue. Yoriko, Rabbit... and now Anteiku was stressing her out. Of course, she couldn't blame them for worrying. Albeit the anger she felt toward Yomo for following her in the first place. Maybe school was what she needed... She wanted to see Yoriko. She was always the one to put a smile on her face when it seemed the most difficult. Even if she was the root of the problem, she was still _Yoriko._

However... she didn't know the stress she would meet when she would arrive at school. She didn't realise what she had missed between Yoriko and Mayuhara. If she was there, everything would have been fine. However, just taking too long to get to school had caused a massive situation. It was true every action had a reaction, but it was as if everything Touka did seemed to cause a bad one. She didn't want any more stress... for her OR Yoriko. Especially Yoriko, if anything. She just wanted to save her from her stress and pain, heal her wounds and cook her meals, even if she was terrible at it.

She wanted to protect her. But she felt as though she couldn't even get by enough in life to look after herself, let alone Yoriko. Touka was so stressed she put herself in a situation that caused her to fall off a damn building! How could someone like herself protect Yoriko?

As she walked, tears began to rise to her eyes. The more she cheered herself up and convinced herself things would be okay, the more went wrong. Wasn't she doing things right? She was protecting her - she was doing everything she could possibly do to make Yoriko happy without jeprodizing her identity. However, it seemed the only thing that would help Yoriko was Rabbit. And that wasn't who SHE was. She was no killer, she wasn't just Rabbit, she was Touka! The Touka that saved her life, the Touka who was there for her day in day out, the Touka who lay down there in her hospital bed with her, waiting for her to recover. Wasn't she doing enough for her? Wasn't she.. enough?

Touka stopped walking, her tears flowing freely down her face, remaining covered by her hair. Was... that the detail she was missing about her own feelings? The fact she could only be enough for Yoriko when she was hiding behind that curse of a mask? She couldn't help but wonder... if she ever removed that mask, would Yorikos feelings just wash away? Would she only be a friend to her? If so... why did she care?

Yoriko only thought of Touka as a friend. That was all she'd ever be to Yoriko. It didn't matter how much she did... how much she bled, or how much she cried. She was a friend. And that was okay. That had to be okay. It... had to be.

It couldn't be any other way.

She raised her hand and wiped her tears, slowly continuing on her journey. She just... wanted to get the day over with. She just wanted to keep walking. It was all she could do.

The day could only get worse, and Touka didn't really care. Or so she thought. She could only wait until she got to school to realise just what she had in store...

•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•○•

Okay so... um... APOLOGIES FOR THE GLITCHES IN CHAPTERS! The files I uploaded somehow corrupted on transfer. Hopefully that's fixed now! Thank you to the guest who brought this to my attention!

-Kayleigh.


	9. Chapter 9

The day was eery for her. Quiet... odd. Everything just felt dark, depressing... it was as though being late to school had caused something she was not aware of. She was just waiting for something to go wrong. Especially over her moment of weakness, earlier that day. That, and the fact Yoriko was nowhere to be found. Was... was she mad at Touka? For not showing up when she had said she would? For being late? For leaving her there? Well... she couldn't blame her. Not really. But it didn't mean she wouldn't see the girl, right? There were plenty of times Touka had somewhat pissed of the adorable teen. Even if Yoriko was mad, she would meet with Touka, just to sit there in her adorable, angry silence. Pouting.

But... she didn't show up at lunch. And that was why Touka was actively looking for her. She didn't want to push her, of course, if she was upset... however, considering the events that had unfolded with her Mother finding out about Yoriko liking girls, and... well... Rabbit, Touka was desperate for some form of indirect closure. She figured Yoriko needed the conversation. If not her, then herself. She just needed to see her. She was desperate to see her. Touka felt like she had caused so much accidentally. She didn't know how she had done it, but God, she had fucked up so many things since Yoriko was attacked. She wanted to make it right. She wanted to see that smile on Yorikos face again. That dorky smile that made her weak.

Even if she felt like Yoriko was... caring more for her alter ego than the face she showed her. It hurt. It really did, but... it wasn't her fault. Maybe Touka just wasn't enough. That was how she saw it. It was the only way she could. But... her emotions didn't matter, at that moment. Yoriko did.

She pressed a button her phone, allowing the screen to light up as she wandered the busy hallways of Kiyomi High, her eyes focussing on her own messages she had sent to Yoriko. The explanations, the apologies... did it really mean anything now? Why didn't she just message her to begin with when she knew she would be late!? She was so wrapped up in depressive issues that she didn't think that she could make it any worse. But of course, she had to go and play fate!

She released an audible sigh... noticing there were only 15 minutes left of dinner time. Yoriko wasn't at her usual eating spot... a place where she hid so people wouldn't bother her for food. So Mayuhara wouldn't have the leverage to attack her. Which she still stupidly did, after all of Toukas threats, and rather intimidating warnings.

"Kirishima!... Hey, c'mere. I have some news for you! Something you WOULDN'T wanna miss..."

Speak of the fucking she-devil herself. Touka froze up as she heard the sickly sweet vocal tone invade her hearing, her feet begrudgingly coming a halt. Of course... call her name and she shall appear. And it wasn't a name Touka was very willing to have on her tongue.

"The fuck do you want?" She coldly replied to Mayuhara, venom dripping from her words. She wasn't going to act all nice. Like hell, she would ever be nice to a coward like her who couldn't accept the bite as a consequence of her bark. However, unlike her usual angry response, Mayuhara gasped in a sarcastic manner... sending chills over Toukas spine. The hell did she have planned?

"My my... so rude, Kirishima! You hurt my feelings! You and little miss shy girl really go hand in hand together, don't you? Or... so I thought." She replied with that stupid smirk, leaving her gang chuckling to themselves. It only caused Touka to turn, and glare. The hell did they mean by that? Were they talking about Yoriko? What the hell?

"Yeah... right. As if Yoriko has a damn rude bone in her body. The hell are you goin' on about? Quit wasting my time." She spat back in response... rather weakly by her standards. Damn it, she was well aware her anger was getting a bit much for her, but what was she supposed to do? If she had her way, Touka would just slice her throat then and there!

... If only. But she actually intended to live this humane lifestyle she had adopted. There was no point in ruining that for low lives like Mayuhara and her dumb and dumber gang.

Mayuhara yawned and stood up, approaching Touka with a sick grin... one that told Touka something. One she usually only shown Yoriko. As if... she had a way to get to Touka herself. What the...

"You wound me. I'm not trying to waste your time! I'm trying to help you. I've seen you wandering around the halls looking for her... so I thought I'd give you the low down on little miss shy girl. As if you care, it seems... but this morning she was stood on the grass waiting for you and crying like a big baby. I asked her what was wrong, of course... because I was a kind soul. And from what she's been saying, she feels let down... she was already sad when she arrived at school, from what I saw. And perked up every time she saw someone with black hair... only to grow sad again when she found it was someone else. You left her there on the grass waiting like a patient little dog... and a dog without their owner has a tendency to run away. Right?"

Touka wanted to butt into the conversation so many times, but it only left her in shock. Yoriko... was she... was she even in school right now? Panic settled over her immediately, and her skin paled. She knew Yoriko would usually suck it up... but with everything happening even before school... did she... WOULD she run away from school before anyone could see her?

"... You're fucking lying. I... I asked Amane earlier. She was in class." Touka responded, trying to keep her cool. Of course, she was lying... it was Mayu-fucking-hara. If anyone would lie, it would be her, regardless of reason. She didn't need a reason. It was a sick form of entertainment for her. But... Toukas reasoning was only met with an indifferent shrug.

"I meant running away from you. Idiot. Why would she wait for someone who breaks what I assume was a promise, hm? I bet she just feels lonely and unwanted. Which is exactly what she is. Right? I mean, don't get me wrong... she can cook, but in every other area she's nothing but generic, idiotic and clingy. She won't leave you alone and cries when you're not around. And you let her. You make her reliant. Again, like a clingy little dog." Mayuhara spat out, her eyes wide and vicious with their gaze. And Touka was... freaked out. appaled by it. And Mayuhara seemed to notice.

The twisted girl cleared her throat, sighing as she smiled that stupid smile once more. "Oops... maybe I lost a bit of composure there. I just hate idiots who don't know their place in the world... and that mutt wouldn't know her place if it stabbed her... just as that ghoul did..."

That... got to Touka more than anything. And it was her turn to gain an insane look. She didn't know what the hell Mayuhara had against Yoriko, or why she would go out of her way to extend such cruelty when she wasn't even around to feel it... but Touka was having none of it. None whatsoever.

Touka moved forward toward the human, her cold glare piercing her eyes. She wasn't putting up with this... she wasn't allowing a repeat of the zoo incident. Not again. Never again.

"You're a fucking disgrace, Mayuhara... you asshole. She could have died that day, cold, bleeding out in a fucking alleyway. She could have died alone and scared... and that's what you decide to bring up? I don't care what you say about her... you can call her a dog all you want, but it wouldn't change the fact she's still perfect. Your opinions don't fucking matter to me, nor her. But... if you ever fucking dare make fun of the fact she was almost brutally killed... then maybe I may have to find a way to have you experience her pain. You slimy, conniving little bastard. Drop. Dead." Touka murmured, in a way she was hoping only she could hear. One last threat... one last warning.

Touka wasn't playing around. She had never once dreamt of having to say something so... brutal, in the middle of school. However... it worked. From what she saw, anyways. Mayuhara was quivering against the lockers. And Touka was satisfied... in her own way.

"... I don't need to hear any more of that bullshit that comes out of your mouth. I've wasted enough time talking to you. I need to find Yoriko. So... unless you wanna tell me where I can find her, make like the dog you seem to think Yoriko is and shiver in the corner in fear. Like you always do when someone stands up to you and your shitty behaviour. Coward." Touka murmured, then beginning to walk away.

She could feel the stares as she walked past from those who had watched her snap. Disappointed stares... judgemental stares, from other students. She was aware that most humans didn't act like ghouls... violence was frowned upon in the human world. But... she didn't know how to peacefully stop Mayuhara.

Regardless... it wasn't their opinions that mattered.  
Yoriko wasn't looking for her... she was looking for Yoriko.

"B-Bastard... this isn't over, Kirishima, you BRUTE! Get back here!" She heard Mayuhara call... but, of course, she didn't turn around. What was the point? Instead, she just checked her phone, looking for a response from Yoriko... now more desperate than ever to hear from her. What if that screaming idiot calling after she was... right? What if Yoriko was mad?...

Still no messages...

"Where on Earth are you, Yoriko..." She murmured, then sighing as she stared at the 'call' button. Maybe... maybe she'd answer. Maybe her phone was just on silent. That was a normal mistake to make... She just needed to know. She was desperate to know, to apologize, to help...

She'd never ever felt this guilty before. Never. But, she knew that if she left things alone to blow over they would just get 10 times worse. So... She pressed the call button... letting it ring.

And that's when she heard it.

A soft tune, as she walked past the girl's bathroom. A familiar one - a quirky little tune she felt the disgusting urge to hum to. A catchy tune... only Yoriko would like. Did that mean she was... in there? Was she in there the entire time? Was she feeling sick? There was no way... right? Right...?

She was not going to waste any time in finding out, and that was evident from how she immediately threw herself into the door, opening it in a fast manner, causing those within the bathroom to stare in confusion and panic.

"Y-Yori- Kosaka- have you seen Kosaka?" She stated, trying to gather her thoughts. She knew she was there... she could smell her familiar scent. But... now, she was nervous. There were people around... too many people.

Or so she thought, anyway. When she asked the question, the girls awkwardly shrugged their shoulders and... moved away from the sinks, pushing past Touka. She could only assume that she had freaked them out. And could she blame them? After crashing into a random public bathroom as if the world was ending? She... needed to calm down. She needed to... it wasn't helping.

She exhaled a shaky breath as the doors slowly shut behind herself, her bright, violet eyes inching their saddened gaze around the bathroom, to the one closed stall that happened to be there. Of course... that was where she'd be. Alone... in the bathroom stalls.

Why didn't she find her sooner?

"Y...Yoriko? Are you in there?" Touka awkwardly asked, her feet gently tapping against the cold tiles beneath her feet as she walked toward the stalls. She actually did receive a response, too. But not one she wanted.

A sniffle. A slight hiccup.  
The sound of tears.

God fucking damn it, how long had she been in there?! How long had she been waiting, how long had she... needed her? She hated it, she hated this, she hated how idiotic she was -

... But the hatred wasn't going to help her. Was it? Nor was it going to help herself... God, she just wanted to curl up on the floor and cry, but she knew that wouldn't help either. She needed to convince her to come out... but how? It wasn't as though Yoriko usually did this... crying in school. She was probably scared! So... reassurance?

...  
She thought about it more. What would Yoriko do if this was the other way around? She'd probably... panic, in an adorable way. And then try and find the problem... panic when she heard the problem, and then try and fix it.

She figured she should skip the panicky steps. She felt that had been all she had done for hours and hours on end... she needed a break from that emotion, to say the very least. So she wouldn't focus on it.

"... I'm sorry. I know I was late this morning... I know I should have texted earlier... I fucking know. I'm... I'm a jerk. You were waiting for a no-show with no word of warning and I feel like a fucking asshole... With everything that's happened, I should have been more considerate. I know... and I'm sorry." She... practically choked out, fully expecting to be met with silence...

... however, that isn't what she received.

"I... I don't care. It was probably for the best. I'm just... All I do is creep around and hope you show up. I don't blame you... maybe you should just... avoid me. I'm sorry - please, Touka, just... go to class. I'll be okay..."

...  
What did she say? She should avoid her? Is that what she thought Touka was doing? No... no no no, she didn't want to lose that trust. She didn't want to lose this friendship!

"... Fuck class, Yoriko, you're more fucking important than trigonometry! Please, get out of the stall! I haven't seen you all day... I'm just... I'm fucking worried, okay!? I'm petrified. I don't usually worry about people like this... just... work with me here, okay? Trust me..."

Toukas mind was all over the place. Her usual strong attitude had been worn down after God knows how longs worth of stress. With Rabbit and Yoriko... the constant worry, and the constant hurt... what was she supposed to do? She needed to know what to do, she didn't know... how to act.

'When did I get so fucking pitiful...' She thought to herself, her back leaning up against the stall next to the door. She wasn't getting an answer... not from Yoriko. Not even a movement. Not even a breath. Didn't... she believe her? Wasn't what she was doing enough?

Why was it never enough!?

"Please... Just... get out of the fucking stall..." She breathed out, even her voice sounding exhausted. One last request. One last moment of begging, letting her tough front she always shown fall. She was showing how desperate she was to fix everything... could Yoriko see that? Touka just wanted her to understand... was it really that difficult?

She just wanted at least one problem to go away. Just one...  
And... it kind of did. With the single click of a lock, and the shaky exhale of a breath from Yoriko as she finally exited the stall she had been hiding in. She looked... a mess. Red puffy eyes, irritated by her tears... messy hair, from where Touka assumed she had been tugging at it slightly. What... what on Earth happened whilst she was away? Yoriko had never been this shaken up before... why was she so... scared?

"...Y...Yoriko." Touka choked out, only to be met with silence, and a distraught look. Yoriko seemed embarrassed - maybe even... guilty? She looked as though she had done something wrong. Did she break the rules or something?

"Did... Did that bitch Mayuhara do this? You don't have to tell me, but... I kinda need to know to put it together, if you're not gonna tell me fully, ya know? We can go to a teacher, or... I can punch that fucker in the face? Ya know... pacifist route option, but I kinda prefer the latter-"

"N-No," Yoriko interrupted suddenly, her hands desperately rubbing at her eyes to stop the seemingly endless flow of tears. "I mean... kinda. B-But it isn't just that. It's-"

Yoriko paused instantly. She didn't want to... no, she couldn't. Not again. She couldn't dump her situations on Toukas shoulders. How often did she do that? Touka had to carry her when she was almost dying to a hospital... she had to listen to her crying over a stupid crush. She had to deal with this now, too. How many more situations would it take for her to snap? She was already avoiding her that morning, apparently to Mayuhara. So... she didn't want to.

She shut her mouth, causing a shocked, confused look to loom over Touka. Yoriko had never... avoided telling her anything. She trusted Touka, right? R...Right?

Toukas hands began to shake, almost visibly. She didn't know how to react to this new social situation. Touka wasn't exactly experienced with people at the best of times... but she could usually brave it out. But not then... not like that. Not when so many other things were stressing her out. She felt like everything was crumbling apart... she felt like her and Yorikos relationship was faltering. And it felt like she had been stabbed.

"... You trust me, don't you? You've not refused to tell me about anything before. I know what happened this morning... I know I was late, and I know I wasn't there when you needed me. But God damn it, I haven't changed, I still want to be there for you. I shouldn't have let my stupid situations make me break the promise to you that I'd help you this morning. I should have been more careful about time... I... I wanna make it up to you, Yoriko." She murmured, her shoulders drooping as her eyes dropped to the floor.

She had... many options floating around her head. Many scenarios... but only one really stuck out to her. One that she'd been trying to avoid for God knows how long. But, breaking out of her comfort zone was worth it, for Yoriko. It was. Yoriko was worth more than anything.

She was just hoping she'd be... safe.  
God, she was scared.

"We have a lot we need to talk about, Yoriko. Stuff we can't discuss in school with bastards like Mayuhara roaming around like they own the place. So, I'm thinking about that... sleepover that you wanted. I wanna have that sleepover tonight, Yoriko. I wanna talk about all this stuff. I want to have time to. No interruptions, no drama, no... anything. Just us. Talking. Okay? You can always say no, it's your house after all..." She said, her face turning bright red. She didn't think the idea of staying over at someone's house would be so embarrassing. However... seeing as she almost kissed Yoriko the night previous...

However, on the flip side of the conversation, Yoriko just looked... emotional. Like Touka had just proposed to her or something. She knew that Touka was going out of her way to break her comfort zone just to get this out of the way... and her appreciation was unbelievable.

"I don't wanna force you, Tou-"  
"You're NOT. And you never would. I just want to do this. I wanna get everything out of the way and just relax with you, alright? Please, just accept it." Touka interrupted, shaking her head as she reached forward and brushed her hand against Yorikos cheeks, to brush away the tears that were streaming... causing not just herself, but Yoriko to blush as her hand... lingered there.

Yorikos glassy eyes blinked wide as she stared toward Toukas own, then swallowing a lump that had gathered in her throat as she replied.

"... I-If you insist... then... yeah. But if you get uncomfortable, tell me, okay? I don't wanna burden anyone else anymore..." She whispered, her hand moving up to Toukas own to hold it. For comfort. Touka felt comforting to her.

Touka sighed, her eyes closing for a second. "I will, Yoriko... but it won't happen." She said, her voice confident. Of course, it would be. She knew that this was the truth, and she knew that Yoriko and herself needed this conversation.

She needed to spend time with Yoriko. She needed to get control over everything that was happening. She had so much she wanted to say, but she hadn't had the chance to get it out before. This way they would be uninterrupted... everything would run smoothly... right?

Only time would tell. And it would tell very, very fast.

"Okay, Touka..." Yoriko stated, her eyes then moving toward the floor. "... tonight it is."

That night sure would be interesting.


	10. Chapter 10

Uncomfortable was the best word to describe Touka that night. She was pushing herself to put up with a scenario she had been avoiding since she was at least 14. The idea of a sleepover... the idea of someone as dangerous as her staying over at innocent, lovely families home.

She wasn't really prepared. At least, she didn't feel she was to an extent. The whole situation was a sudden decision, made in worry for Yoriko herself rather than Toukas own benefit, which of course was selfless... but still difficult to deal with. The whole way home, in which Yoriko followed, she was panicking about the stuff she didn't have - like real PJ's - which Yoriko assured her was okay and that she could wear whatever she usually did.

Why did she feel it was a formal gathering? She didn't truly know. Maybe it was because it was a new situation... that would explain her anxiety regarding it. It was kind of the same when she started her first day at Kiyomi High. It was terrifying, doing something normal humans would do.

But, she did at least push past the awkwardness after a while of calming herself in her thoughts, but not without Yoriko letting her stop and _buy _what it was she didn't have... with a reluctant, but supportive expression ever looming on her face. And, of course, a look of embarrassment on Toukas own. It wasn't as though a spontaneous shopping trip wasn't fun for Yoriko and maybe Touka alike, what with picking out every rabbit related piece of clothing. However, Yoriko felt bad that Touka was spending money just to see her, albeit Toukas reassurance.

However, it was worth it. It made things way easier, at least, for Touka. That, in turn, made it easier for Yoriko herself. And now, Touka was sat on Yorikos bed, once again, looking extremely, _extremely awkward. _Not that she'd let it seem like she didn't want to be there. It was Toukas decision, after all. She did this to herself. And besides, it shouldn't be a big deal anyway! She wanted to spend time with Yoriko. She always did. All she had to do was calm her mind down and relax. Once they got the awkward conversation over with, it was a home run to bedtime... and then it would be the morning. A weekend, no less. A whole day of dorking around before Touka inevitably departed for home.

But... the point about the awkward situation still remained. They needed to talk, and they both knew that. Which was why they both fell into silence when they finally settled down into Yorikos bedroom.

All the while, Toukas thoughts kept bouncing back and forth between past and present, in memory of the kiss the two almost shared. Perhaps it was only Touka who felt uncomfortable... maybe, for good reason with that.

However, she knew Yoriko was the shy one. And that was even at that moment, evident in her behaviour. She was sat at her desk, tapping her fingers... staring at the tacky, paper sunflowers she had stuck to her walls to add a bit of colour to her bedroom. Once again, something that just screamed Yoriko Kosaka. But, she was doing it to avoid talking. She didn't truly know what to say or how to say. So Touka took it upon herself to start the conversation. But she'd be jumping in at the deep end. She always was blunt...

"I wanna know what's going on. What made you freak out like that, I mean. It was me. Wasn't it? Because I broke my promise and left you alone when you weren't ready to go back to school properly yet." She said, her bright eyes glancing toward the human, who she saw had visibly flinched at the sudden conversation starting.

Yoriko was scared that was what Touka thought, and clearly, she was correct to be. Darn it... she didn't mean to make it seem like that was the case. Of course, was upset, but not directly at Touka! Life happened... life was stupid. But her dumb thoughts and feelings were worse. Especially in this scenario.

"Th... That's really not true! I didn't say that! I just panicked, okay? I wasn't ever mad... I just wanted to disappear after everything had happened." She responded, her hands moving to her legs, where she began to squeeze her skirt in her fists. She felt responsible for Toukas worry now...  
"I mean it. It wasn't your fault. Okay? It's just... the last few days have been bad, that's all. You know how things are, stuff goes wrong. Disappointment always strikes randomly, right?"

... As much as Yoriko assumed that would make Touka feel better, it... really, really didn't. Her heart sank, yet throbbed at the same time. It was an awful feeling because she knew what she meant. She meant the kiss, or... well, what could have been. Yoriko really was affected by that - she was hurt, and whatever Mayuhara said to get in her head well and truly pushed her over the edge into that horrible state she wished Yoriko never had to experience. Once again, she had caused a situation that had harmed her best friend. Indirectly, but... it didn't change what it was. It was hurt. She was well and truly hurt, and she could see it in her eyes.

Yet, she had to play dumb. Yet she had to pretend she didn't know, instead of saying 'it was me, and I didn't really want to do that. I just didn't want to get you killed or something'... She couldn't reassure her. She couldn't.

She felt well and truly useless.

"Yoriko... what's gone on? You know you can tell me anything." She stated, without a hint of nervousness in her voice despite the true heartbreak she was harbouring inside. She didn't really need to know... she already knew. But Yoriko didn't know that. But what she needed to know was that Touka cared enough to ask in the first place.

However, despite the effort, Yoriko shrugged her off... once again, causing pain to rip through Touka as if she'd been shot. Once again, it was rare for Yoriko to not want to tell her anything.

"It was... nothing. Nothing I wanna talk about, anyway. I promise, I'm okay, I just-"  
"_Yoriko_."

Yoriko looked up as she was interrupted to see Touka stand up and walk towards her. To see her crouch down, and hold her hands. It was something Touka had never done before - a new thing for the two of them, especially Touka herself, who was visibly nervous to be doing such a thing. But this was for Yoriko. She wanted to comfort her. And if she was going to be put into an awkward position, well, Touka would do the same for herself. An eye for an eye. She... guessed. Not really the sorta situation it usually applied to, but it was still right, regardless.

"I don't care how embarrassing it is. I don't care whether you think it's stupid. It's hurting you, so it matters. You know you can tell me anything... so... let's not keep any secrets. Yeah?" She said, feeling a bomb of hypocrisy in her statement. Her whole section of the friendship was held up by lies... lies for Yorikos sake, of course, but they were still lying.

Yoriko was looking down toward her, with a red face Touka could only assume was from embarrassment. Had she gone too far? she wondered, her brow furrowing before she gained a meek reply from the human. A reply was so blunt it could almost rival Toukas own at the worst of times.

"I... I almost kissed Rabbit. And she stopped me."

That was it. That was all she said, and thankfully, it was all she seemed to want to say. That made Toukas mind ease. She didn't really... want a recap. She really didn't. If she did, her emotions may have got the best of her. Who knows what would happen then... Touka couldn't even predict.

"... I won't ask how that became close to happening. But... I'm sorry she did that to you. Maybe she just... wasn't interested in having a love life?" Touka said, in half defence of the ghoul. Of course, she would be, the ghoul was her. She wanted to justify it without saying 'she isn't interested'... because... well, it wasn't the case and Touka knew it. Something was happening there. She couldn't lie about that. But she could lie about the Rabbits reasons.

Yoriko sighed, her eyes closing. As if she was avoiding tearing up.  
"It... it wasn't her fault. She mentioned something about us being two completely different people, ya know? Like you said... humans and ghouls? How could that ever work, huh? I keep doing stupid stuff!"

Toukas hand squeezed the girls own gently, her heart throbbing. Despite all the pain, they were both feeling, Yoriko speaking about this like it was normal... the mention of ghouls wasn't like a curse word to her. Other than the fact it was preventing her crush become anything more than that.

It... was a shame. It was a shame she couldn't show her the eyes. The wings... it was a shame she couldn't give her the Mask and say 'how do you feel now?'. Life truly was cruel. But... Touka had to stay quiet. Quiet for the humans' sake. She didn't want any harm to come to her for a selfish reason... her safety was more important. It always would be.

"Yoriko. I know it hurts. And it's not stupid that you tried... you want to be with her, right? It's only natural you wanted to try." Touka said quietly, her hand raising to brush away a stray tear that had slipped out, despite Yorikos best efforts. Not that Touka minded. If anything, it was better she cried. It was better she could release her emotions. Although... touching her cheek like that made Touka blush.

She hated emotions.

"I..." Yoriko began, her voice shaky as her now red eyes opened. "I... I don't know how to talk about this, Touka. Me liking girls is scary enough without me being dumb and falling for someone I shouldn't. I don't want to deal with it. I'm too scared. I'm... I'm sorry, I know you wanna help me but I just... I can't."

Touka let a frown cover her face once she heard that. Of course, she couldn't force her into telling her anything. And... in all fairness, they got a fair bit out of the way. A lot of pain was on the table to slowly come to terms with. At least, on Yorikos side. And Touka would do everything in her power to do that, over time...

"... I understand, Yoriko. We don't need to talk about it anymore. If you wanna, we can just lay in bed and watch a movie. Or something... just to relax. Today was shit, I get it. It was for me, too. I wanna have fun tonight, ya know? It's fine, really." She said with a small smile, which caused a look of relief to wash over the girl. Which made Touka feel better herself, really.

Touka smiled and stood, pulling Yoriko to her feet as she spoke. "Well... your face says it all. Let's watch a movie." She then said, moving to sort out Yorikos DVD player. As for Yoriko... well...

She just stared at Touka. With a little smile. She really did strike gold with one thing... her. She was right to go up to Touka and ask her to share lunch. She was right to insist on sharing lunch with her every day. She was right to trust her.

That's all she really wanted. Someone to trust. Someone to connect with.  
Who needed Rabbit if she had her?

~*~*~*~  
"Hey... uh... Yoriko, do you need any more popcorn?"  
"Huh? Nah, I've had a lot... you can have some, ya know-"  
"I uh... I have, don't worry."

As the movie played, quiet whispers filled the room. It wasn't disruptive, nor forced. It was welcomed. Voices filling the void the movie wasn't filling very well. It was a comfortable situation they had found themselves in, even with the awkwardness of the earlier situation. Even down to the seating arrangements, with Yoriko tucked into Toukas side (though, this was mostly down to the small size of her bed).

"You're warm enough, right?" Touka asked out of the blue, causing a small chuckle to escape the human girl. Again... the laughter that made her heart leap in her chest thousand times over. She still didn't know how a human could have such an effect on her. However... she didn't hate it. Not anymore. It was almost pleasant.

"I thought I was the host, Touka..." She murmured, her finger jabbing at the ghouls' side and causing her to flinch, but not without a smirk.

"Yeah? well, maybe I'm a better host and I'm asserting my dominance." Touka replied, only earning a tired response from the human herself.  
"Pft... yeah, you wish."

Touka laughed, almost loudly at the humans' sassy reply. It was funny to her, how Yoriko was so shy around others, yet around her, she was just as sarcastic as the next girl. She was glad she was that person to her. A person she could be herself around.

"I wish, huh? How rude, Yoriko. What makes you think I'm not?

Yoriko?"

She was met with silence, which was... rare. It caused her to look down toward the girl, her eyes focussing upon her gentle features, only to realise... she was asleep. Fully asleep, and it was almost shocking to her how quickly it happened.

Not that Touka minded. In fact, a gentle smile covered her face once more as she observed her features. Angelic, almost. Innocent. The polar opposition of Touka...

_Beautiful_.

She gulped as she thought of the word, her entire face becoming a crimson mess. Ah... what was she thinking? Maybe it was her own fatigue setting in, but... she couldn't take her eyes off of her. She was watching her sleep. And she felt so fucking creepy...

And yet... her thoughts couldn't stop going back to what was almost a kiss. That kiss.. that God damn kiss. She needed it out of her system, she was so so so close and... nothing.

Why did she want this so badly?

...

She sighed and stared at the place on her cheek in which she'd stopped a tear rolling earlier in the day, her mind racing. Could she... could she kiss her? At least, her cheek, and get it out of her system? She was asleep... she wouldn't know. She wouldn't see. Sure, she'd feel, but that could be anything when you're asleep.

It was just a peck.  
A peck on the cheek - what was that between friends, right?

She was trying to justify it so much in her mind that she didn't even notice herself beginning to lean down. It felt like slow motion to her. She could hear every single breath, feel each and every movement... it was as if it was just them alone in the world.

And finally... her lips pressed against her cheek, and she felt her blush began to radiate more so than ever before.

But... above that...  
She felt a stir, from below her... as a pair of eyes fluttered open.

_Shit_.


End file.
